I'm a PERVERT?
by Cooper Writer Crafter
Summary: A collection of L and Misa instances with implications of romance and everything in between. Rating will change as the story progresses. Dedicated to us LMisa fans.
1. For Your Eyes only

**Title: **_I'M A PERVERT?_

**Anime: **Death Note

**Pairing: **_L / Misa Amane_

**RATED: T**

**Warning: **_innuendoes and possible lemon_

**Summary:**_ A collection of L and Misa instances with implications of romance and everything in between. Rating will change as the story progresses. Dedicated to us LMisa fans._

**AUTHOR'S NOTES****: To those of us who wanted to take a break from yaoi fanfiction between L and Light and to those who like the character of Misa Amane despite the discrimination about her flaws and "stupidity", this story is for all of you.**

**XXX**

**First Instance**: _For your eyes only_

If it wasn't for the damn handcuffs, Misa Amane would have been the happiest girl alive, sort of.

It wasn't just that. Her bad luck started ever since she found herself strapped in leather belts, blindfolded, confined in some hidden room, mentally tortured besides the physical as she was being interrogated as an alleged criminal in the hands of a certain infuriating detective whom she had always believed to be a perverted maniac. And his very appearance speaks of it too. Misa always wanted to scratch his eyes out and how outrageously ugly those eyes were with all the lack of sleep and cloudiness wrapped in the dark orbs. Misa wanted so bad to give a proper haircut to the untidy mattress of raven yarn-like hair. She wished he would take a bath just once or if he does, he could at least select a different style of garb rather than plain white shirt and loose jeans (and he's so skinny too!) Most importantly, the eating habits. What in the world has gotten into his thick, extremely gifted brain that it is able to use all the excess sugar in his body for crime-solving uses? And Misa hates the fact that he never gets fat because she does _gain_ weight and she feels even more insecure when around Light who is handcuffed to the disgusting detective since day one after the release. The seething anger is more directly addressed to the way he looks at her; stares at her with a wide, blank gaze like expanding horizons of dark skies. Annoying, a whole lot. Misa wished Ryuuzaki would just disappear along with his perversion and kinky ideas of monitoring his suspects.

"Light, why can't we just go on a date alone without him?"

"Ask him why," Light said in an unconcerned tone one afternoon while they were browsing through the Yotsuba accounts for the investigation.

Misa did not turn to Ryuuzaki but the detective answered her, "Misa-san should get used to the setting. I could not disentangle myself from Light-kun until I have proven hundred percent otherwise—"

"Light, won't you sleep with me now?" Misa interrupted rudely. She hates the way he talks so slow and pensive, weighing each word, so gentlemanly in his speech as well. Everything about him is hateful.

"I'm busy, Misa." Light still remained impassive, trying his best to keep his eyes on the screen the whole time. The handcuffs jingled when he slightly moved his wrist to type something on the keyboard. Ryuuzaki made a motion of raising his cup of coffee to take a sip when Misa shouted at him, making him glance at her, bemused rather than annoyed.

"Ryuuzaki-san is a pervert!" Misa was stomping her feet. "You take pleasure in this, don't you?"

"What is Misa-san talking about?" Ryuuzaki's eyes were round as usual and she hates it when he would ask her so innocently.

"You want Light for yourself, that's why! You're gay."

"Misa-san, you confuse me."

Misa bit her lip in frustration. "Misa doesn't like Ryuuzaki-san."

Ryuuzaki almost raised one eyebrow. Then he said nothing.

Misa let out another irritated growl and turned back to Light.

Light, who wanted some peace and quiet even when the detective was hovering around him like a vulture (sure beats being on a date with Misa anyway,) said calmly, "Just take a rest in your room, okay, Misa?" _God, woman, get a clue!_

Misa pouted then seeing that this is another round she lost, she turned her back away from Light, pigtails moving elegantly, and then she did something really childish: she tapped Ryuuzaki at the side of his head as a gesture of hitting him not too heavily. Ryuuzaki's head follow suit with the gesture but he said nothing and did not react to it too much.

Misa went back to her room and threw herself to the sofa. Then she remembered the camera installed around. She cringed at the thought that Ryuuzaki was watching her again. It is quite humiliating and violating being on the big screen of the control room while a group of men watch your daily activities. Misa did not mind Light and his father nor Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi for that matter. It's that darn Ryuuzaki.

She debated on sticking her tongue out to the camera but she doesn't want Light to see that kind of immature display.

That night, Misa tiptoed to the main control room to check on Light. She was surprise to find him standing beside a door, the other end of the handcuffs inside. He looks bored too.

"Ryuuzaki," he said. "You've been there for almost two minutes, are you done yet?"

"Give me another five minutes, Light-kun."

"What are you doing anyway?"

"What purpose should I have in the restroom besides excretion? I think I drank too much coffee and ate too much doughnuts."

_You only think of this now?_ Light said to himself and said nothing to the detective.

Misa giggled in delight. This is an opportunity to have Light for herself. She glanced at the monitor and saw that it was still her room they were monitoring. That pervert. Well, at least, it's only Light who will see...

She quickly went back to her room. As soon as she opened the door, she pretended like nothing was wrong and stepped inside. She knew it was only Light who was watching. Carefully, she sat down on the table, facing the camera, in the angle she knew he would see her well. She slowly crossed her legs and then pulled down one of her striped legging seductively.

"Ryuuzaki, it's my time now, okay? Stop tugging at the chain. I'm trying to make my business here." Light had been in the bathroom already. The moment Misa was in her room, Ryuuzaki was done and was now patiently waiting for the younger boy. His focus was on the screen so he almost had a heart attack when he realized what he had stumbled upon. He tugged on the chain. Light refused to acknowledge it. Ryuuzaki's eyes widened as he just stood there, watching.

Oh well, he is twenty-four after all. He does need a change of hobby or interest other than what he has now. And he remembered specifically that Misa was the one who called him a pervert. And he somehow, by some weird freakish nature, wanted to prove her right. Creepy but there you go. Light is taking so long anyway.

Ryuuzaki was nibbling on his thumb as he watched Misa, who was now successful with the removal of her leggings, fingering the strap of her body-hugging red tank top. He swallowed hard, wondering why he seems to be anticipating for it. He could not (or would not) take his eyes off the monitor.

Misa pulled down the strap, all the while smiling and looking at the camera intently. Ryuuzaki dared not to breathe. Light, who must have realized that he was too silent, said half-sardonically, "Don't worry, Ryuuzaki. You'll get a strawberry cake for waiting like this, I promise."

Oh, he's getting one, all right, as they speak.

Misa proceeded on pulling down another strap. Then finally she pulled down the whole tank top down her waist, exposing a violet, lacy bra that held her firm breasts in place. Ryuuzaki nibbled down on his thumb harder.

"Light-kun, how much time do you still need?"

"Almost done, maybe a couple more minutes."

"Take your time."

"Okay..." Light thought that maybe something was not right but he ignored it.

Misa was now running her hands on her thighs, teasing her bare flesh with those wonderfully nail-polished fingers. Then she spread her legs apart. Ryuuzaki could see a slight outline of her underwear. He was tempted to take a few steps forward so he could peek well inside it. He fought the urge. He was starting to feel too warm, too warm because the room is at least negative zero cold in here. Watari likes to keep it that way but no air-conditioner could make this sudden warmth subside.

"I'm done, Ryuuzaki." Light opened the door just in time when Misa already took off her underwear, crossing her legs so she would not easily give him a good preview and raised a violet lacy underwear in sight, giggling.

Light was now looking at this with a blank face. He said nothing to address it nor did he feel anything towards the situation at hand. Ryuuzaki stood still, trying not to collapse.

Then Light said, "I need to go to the bathroom again."

"Take your time, Light-kun."

Light nodded and closed the door behind him, grinning the whole time as he left Ryuuzaki to his new discovery.

The next morning Misa was bouncing happily at Light's lap, thinking they shared a wonderful experience last night. Ryuuzaki barely looked at her this time. After all, he got to look at her last night and that was quite satisfactory for now.


	2. Disaster in Cold Showers

**Second Instance: **_Disaster in Cold Showers _

If you think it was only the two suspects who receive discomfort because of the decision of the main investigator to handcuff himself to one of them, then you're wrong. Ryuuzaki, the man famous for his detective alias "L," is rather suffering the worst kind of discomfort: something to do with human contact to which he never once allowed himself under the circumstances because a.) He is too committed to his work, b.) The likelihood that he possesses autistic tendencies is almost twenty-eight percent in his own estimation and c.) He certainly would not want people getting the wrong impression of him despite that he could easily tolerate the insults about his personality quirks. All in all he didn't like his own proposed idea but even though he is an arrogant man because that usually follows when you are an intelligent one, he has the ability to swallow his pride and just do that. His overbearing mannerisms to be extreme in his methods often cause his employees' dismay, this being the team for the Kira case, but Ryuuzaki would pursue his line of thought and ignore them even when they dimmed this as unethical and yes, "perverted" (a certain blonde model pops into mind right now) until his hypothesis is proven correct.

Standing inside a claustrophobic bathroom in one of the floors of his own headquarters, handcuffed to a suspect, who may or may not be the worst type of megalomaniac, narcissistic sociopath with obscure moral values who would want to kill him but just maybe since he is also his current friend, made Ryuuzaki appear helpless and even scared especially after his second suspect, a pretty young girl, who may or may not be the accomplice of the said murderer earlier and would undeniably be a devoted follower of this killer or if not then she is simply a girlfriend with obsessive affection for his current friend, appeared from nowhere, closing the door behind her loudly. She scoffed at them plainly, hands on her waist. Light, his suspect and friend, blinked at Misa, gave a half-cold stare at Misa, obviously annoyed by her interruption. Ryuuzaki just blinked at her, biting his thumb a little too hard.

"Move away! I'm joining you two!"

Ryuuzaki felt like his ears bled out when that phrase was pronounced. Did she expect them to retaliate without further interrogation? He is not that kind of man, hell, he is not _any_ kind of man for that matter. He is just L aka Ryuuzaki and he always felt like he was only a processing unit of information rather than a human being. So this is all new to him.

Fortunately, Light could react properly in these situations. He has the uncanny ability to control Misa and often the people around him (suspicion rises to an extra two percent for that reason.) He takes one step forward toward Misa, keeping eye contact firm. "Misa, we could manage ourselves."

"No way Misa-Misa will let Light take a bath all alone with Ryuuzaki-san!" Misa stomped her foot on the tile. "She needs to be always present. No clothes will be stripped off without her assistance." She shot an angry glare at Ryuuzaki.

"We would not get _that_ naked, Misa." Light was maintaining his patience and usual cool air.

"Light is not freaked out that he would take a bath with Ryuuzaki-san alone?"

_Actually, I'd rather take a bath with Ryuuzaki than with you, airhead. _Light said to himself but did not want to say it aloud, afraid that this would definitely put question to his gender preference, not like he cares anymore. He just wants Misa gone so he could wash himself from two days' smell and dirt. He did not mind if Ryuuzaki doesn't take off the handcuffs. He actually wanted Ryuuzaki to take a cold shower too since it has been two days of gluttonous eating and sitting without sleeping. Anybody, any normal human being, must at least take a bath. Well, maybe Ryuuzaki is an exception. So yeah, maybe he should be freaked out with the fact he will be taking a bath alone with the wide-eyed detective. Yet it defeats the option of taking a bath with Misa. The thought is just plain hideous that Light actually closes his eyes and forces the thought away.

"Misa-san," Ryuuzaki finally speaks. "Light-kun and I will take a bath silently with our backs turned. Nothing else would happen under your watch or under anyone's watch that will be inappropriate."

Light visibly rolled his eyes. _Right...unless of course you have another quirky habit even in taking a bath or so..._He definitely wants to witness that.

"But Misa-Misa wants to wash Light's hair with shampoo!"

"If that is the case, Light-kun—"

"Absolutely not, Misa."

"But why, Light? I could even massage your scalp."

"If that is the case, Light-kun—"

"Absolutely not, Misa." _I will not have you touch my hair! _

"But why, Light? You could keep your boxers on if you like. Maybe I could even put soap on you."

"If that is the case—"

"Would you shut up, Ryuuzaki, I said no, didn't I?" Light turned back to Misa. "Go away now, Misa. We really have to take a bath."

In normal circumstances, Misa would have followed with clear obedience. But this time she chose not to. She repeatedly stomped her foot on the tiles, almost breaking them, each stomp equivalent to a word, "Misa—won't—go—Misa—wants—to—bathe—Light!"

Ryuuzaki answered in his monotone again, "If that is the case, Light-kun, maybe we should allow Misa-san to help you."

_I'm not a kid. My mom did not even bathe me so what gives her the—ugh!_ "No, Misa. That is final. Do you want me to get angry with you?" _Honestly, it's like talking to a child._

"Why do you always push me away when I just want you to love me?" Misa looked like she was in tears. Light was unmoved. Ryuuzaki just watched. Misa covered her face with her hands and might be crying. Light let out a sigh, scratching his head, obviously irritated and beyond console. Ryuuzaki, out of some innocent gesture, reached out to hand the pretty blonde the shampoo. Misa looked at it, bewildered.

"If Misa-san likes, she could shampoo me instead."

Misa was about to say he was a pervert and scream at him being imprudent but something stopped her. There was no hint of sexual malice on that statement. Ryuuzaki always talks so differently. He did not give importance to proper social responses but he meant well. He wanted to comfort Misa because Light was mean to her. He wanted to make her feel better by making such an awkward proposal, not realizing the outrageous outcome of such phrases. This is something that only Ryuuzaki _is_ alone, something that makes him breathlessly incomparable. He is so much like a little boy, free from all the useless masochist actions. And Misa was not sure but she seemed thankful that he was kind in own genuine way. At the same time, her cheeks were flushed.

"It's okay, I just—"

Light grabbed the shampoo suddenly, ruining the three-second moment of mutual understanding between the two, "Here you go. Do whatever you want."

Misa looked down at the shampoo container that Light was holding at her. For a moment the sweet thoughts of Ryuuzaki's other side dispersed ultimately. She was back into being deliriously in love with the other man. She launched into Light's arms instantly, shoving away Ryuuzaki unintentionally. What happened three seconds ago was forgotten maybe but someday it will surface when Light fails to give her the right kind of attention.

"Misa, the shampoo, please." Light tried to breathe while wrapped around the suffocating embrace.

Misa happily took it, applying an amount in her palm. Then she looked at the two boys. "Well, what are waiting for? Take off your clothes and leave your boxers."

Then she said to Ryuuzaki. "I'd shampoo you too, Ryuuzaki-san."

She might not have forgotten entirely at all.

Light hurriedly undressed despite the handcuffs, not really aware of the small giggles in Misa's part. He just wanted to get this over it. He feels sticky and so hot-tempered. The detective finally unchained them. He just clicked something at the bottom and the handcuffs came out. Still, the other one is still attached to Light. Light wanted to know what to click but the detective gave him a blank stare, indicating that only his end of the handcuffs has that button. Light rolled his eyes and kept undressing. Ryuuzaki took his time removing his shirt, trying not to draw focus on him from the pretty girl. And luckily she was too absorbed in eyeing her love interest to notice him taking off his jeans. Ryuuzaki never really felt human at all. Sometimes he wonders if human contact is that...no, not this kind of thinking again. When will he learn? Ryuuzaki let out a sigh. He handcuffed his wrist again to Light.

Light turned on the shower and wet his hair. Then he turned the shower head to Ryuuzaki so he could the same. The detective was unprepared so he shook a little from the cold water. Misa thought he looked so small with the untidy hair wet and the water running freely down his wide...and somehow sad…eyes….she stopped looking at him after that.

Misa started humming a song to herself as she proceeded on placing herself between the two men. She applied the shampoo on Light's silky hazel hair. Light grunted a little out of the fact that he still could not believe he agreed to this. He had his back turned from Misa the whole time.

When it was Ryuuzaki's turn, she began to circle her fingers in his dark and stubborn hair. It was surprisingly soft as well because of the water. Ryuuzaki was facing her, unlike Light but he kept his eyes down the floor. Misa kept humming but this time she hummed a little solemnly.

Then she let the men wash their heads as soon as she was done. Light was kind enough to hold the shower head as Ryuuzaki washes his own hair.

"Have you taken a bath by yourself before, dork? You look like you're not used to this." Light commented good-humoredly, eyeing Ryuuzaki as he consciously washed off the shampoo.

"I am perfectly fine in bathing myself, Light-kun. Thank you for your concern."

Misa proceeded with the soap. Light rolled his eyes again. Ryuuzaki nibbled on his thumb. He watched silently as Misa scrubbed Light with a towel and soap. The teenage boy still kept his back from her and when she run her hands on her chest and nipples, he squirmed uncomfortably. Misa only giggled. She finally turned to Ryuuzaki who instinctively took a step back and, rather childishly, covered his bare skin from her reach. Misa scoffed at him and pulled his arms away. Then she soaped him carefully.

_Misa-san is good at this,_ Ryuuzaki thought. He tried to think of something to tell her, for small-chat purposes so the awkward atmosphere would subside. "Does Misa-san use to bathe her little brother before?"

Misa was ignoring the whole thing. This was just for Light, nothing else. Ryuuzaki is just part of it. The clanking of the handcuffs was starting to get to her somehow. Then she heard that. She stopped running her hands on Ryuuzaki's wet skin, stopping right on his flat stomach. Then she looked up, bewildered. Ryuuzaki knew about her family background. And he seemed not to realize how careless he was to bring up the awful past. She knew he was just so socially inept so she let it slide and grunted as a noncommittal response.

Ryuuzaki was fully aware of the meaning in his question and also why Misa looked at him like that. He didn't really want to appear rude so he added, "Misa-san was kind enough to do this."

"Light, would you want me to brush your teeth for you too?" Misa received a different breed of death glare from her so-called boyfriend. Then Light sighed and softened his expression. He shook his head, waiting for them to finish.

When they were both done, Misa allowed them to rinse by themselves.

"Light-kun should really give me the shower head, I could hold it myself."

"Stop complaining, Ryuuzaki. Besides, I need it more than you do."

"Then could you please place it above my head? I haven't rinsed my hair properly much."

"Let Misa do that for you," There was a slight twitch in the corners of Light's mouth. He was getting entertained with the interaction between the two considering the unfathomable sexual tension. Misa just frowned but did what her Light asked her to do. She stepped back between them and, after some grimace in her part, run her hands on Ryuuzaki's untidy hair, rinsing it thoroughly. Light was holding the shower head nonchalantly, giving a small sly smile in the process.

"Misa-Misa will leave the two of you now to wash your—" she paused and blushed, expecting them to get it. "I will be waiting outside with your towels."

Light and Ryuuzaki exchanged a look. Light hid his shame. "No peeking."

"Same to you, Light-kun."

"Dream on." Light turned his back away from the young detective as Misa shut the door behind. The damn handcuffs were still itching and clinking. He reached for the shower head but heard the water already running. "Hurry up, Ryuuzaki."

"Light-kun?"

"Hmm?"

"This may sound strange to ask but I just want to know how you felt like when Misa-san was washing you."

Light took a long time to answer because he really didn't feel like answering. Still, he wondered why Ryuuzaki would ask such a thing. He couldn't hide the small grin on his face. Ryuuzaki handed him the shower head.

"Well, how about you?" Light began rinsing.

"I asked first, Light-kun."

"I feel..." Light wanted to humor him. "Warm. Did you feel warm, Ryuuzaki?"

"The water was cold."

"Yes?"

Pause. And then, "Misa-san's hands were warm. And soft."

"And?"

Ryuuzaki said no more. He stepped out and opened the door. Misa was out there and when she saw it was just him, her big smile vanished into a slight frown. She called, "Light, are you done?"

"Almost." Light followed behind Ryuuzaki. Misa just tossed the towel to him and started wiping Light dry. Light pushed her off slightly and took the towel from her. "You can help Ryuuzaki dry himself, Misa."

_How could he say that?_ Misa was suddenly angry but she directed that at Ryuuzaki who looked at her calmly.

Light had a plan. He reached out to wipe Ryuuzaki's hair. Misa's eyes rounded. Ryuuzaki looked at the both of them, puzzled of what was going on.

"Okay, I'll do it!" Misa furiously grabbed Ryuuzaki's towel and wiped him from the shoulders down to his torso. Ryuuzaki was nibbling on his thumb. Light was silently triumphant.

"That was an excellent bath, Misa-san." Ryuuzaki still sounded so inhuman and too polite. "Thank you."

"Misa has been serving you in a lot of ways now." Light said coyly. Ryuuzaki blinked twice at that innuendo. Misa was still oblivious. She was tugging at Light's arm. "Do you want Misa to prepare clothes for you? You should get out of that soaked boxers, Light."

"I can change now by myself, Misa."

"Misa will stay here until the two of you are done."

"Look, you can't supervise us forever." Light turned to Ryuuzaki. "What are you going to wear now, Ryuuzaki?"

"I already told Watari to prepare my clothes in the lobby."

"You're going to change there?"

"I have no other options."

Light run a hand through his wet hair. "You could change here, Ryuuzaki. Besides we are wearing handcuffs. I want to change here. It's warmer."

"Light-kun likes being warm."

"And you like it warm and soft too, right?" Again, innuendo. Ryuuzaki blinked, _he is getting some fun from this._

Misa was not following their line of conversation. "I'd get Ryuuzaki-san's clothes then. Wait for Misa, Light. We will have a date."

She rushed out of the door. Light looked at Ryuuzaki.

"You need to tell her."

"Tell Misa-san what, Light-kun?"

"That you like her."

Ryuuzaki blinked again. Then he slowly answered. "You have wrong suspicions, Light-kun. You don't think at all."

"You're such a dork." Light walked to the bed, Ryuuzaki following behind, handcuffs jiggling. Misa opened the door and tossed the clothes once again to the deadpan detective. Light, annoyed, shooed her off as he was starting to put on some fresh polo shirt. Ryuuzaki removed himself from Light so he could dress easily. Then he handcuffed them again as soon as they were done. Misa popped in again.

"Can we go on a date now, Light?"

"We have to investigate something, Misa."

"Ryuuzaki-san, can we—"

"Misa-san should be patient. She could wait in her room and read magazines or paint her nails if she wants."

Misa's eyes narrowed. "You watch me too much, pervert!"

Light loudly laughed at the last remark. The other two looked at him.

"Misa," Light said quietly. "You have no idea."

The blonde girl failed to understand so the two men left the room, Light feels smug about himself again as the young detective was not sure what to make out of the situation. He sighed long.

"That was unnecessary, Light-kun."

"She has to know one of these days."

And Light knew exactly how.

**XXX**

**Well, that was another chapter. I just want Light around since he keeps being the hindrance for L and Misa to get it on...or is he? Stay tuned for more chapters. I'll keep this in the RATING T for a while.**


	3. Why is the strawberry gone?

**A/N: I know all of us could not get enough of yaoi between L and Light but let us step back from the usual norm and look at the possibility of this pairing. I have read once that L and Misa could have an effective romantic relationship. Don't you think L deserves a female partner? Okay, I know, Naomi Misora will always be the destined girl paired to him if only she did not die at all. Still, let us look at L/Misa a little more closely. The first thing to notice is their personalities could complement each other. Kat-chan's story "Rewrite" presented a constructive view on how it would be like if only Misa was in love with L and not ****Light****. Misa could direct L's energy into social means and may encourage him to express his feelings once in a while. L certainly is a gentleman by nature and he would appreciate Misa and treat her better than Light does. Not failing to mention, of course, the sex they could have. Misa is sensual and loyal enough to keep L's paranoia and inability to trust in check. L is a risk-taker and innately curious to satisfy Misa in more ways than one. So am I the only one who can see the advantages of this pairing? All right then, thank you for hearing my arguments and I rest my case. ****Onto the story.**

**Light deserves to get some action on the side so let us keep him hovering around the love doves, okay?**

**Third instance: **_Why is the strawberry gone?_

Two days after the most humiliating incident of his life because he has given himself to such ludicrous exposure, L was confident that the normality of things will not decrease from so much percentage. He was counting on it. He was still handcuffed to his suspect and best friend, that is to be expected and everything around the headquarters is of humdrum quality. Matsuda is still oblivious to the growing aspects of encounters here because it is in his nature to be a dumb ass. Mogi and Soichiro Yagami are attending religiously to their duties. Aizawa made the decision of leaving them to which L was disappointed though because he was such a fine police officer but he understands his associate's personal dilemma. And the productivity of their investigations was a tad more conclusive. The Yotsuba group is confirmed Kira activists, thanks to Weddy and Aiber's hard work. L also arrived with the conclusion that the Third Kira is possibly Higuchi who is a never-changing physically unattractive fellow (read: ugly.) Those are the normal conditions L had anticipated. Nothing was messed up after Matsuda's grand fiasco. Everything is going smoothly.

L sliced his cake and glanced down. Then he noticed something strange. He could hardly believe it. What the hell is going on?

Light, who was typing on the keyboard next to him, noticed the lack of movement from the other end of the chain. He looked across his companion who was now staring intently at his plate as if it offended him. Light arched an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong, Ryuuzaki?"

L looked at Light slowly, his neck twisting hesitantly to his right. His eyes were as big as a doe's. His lower lip was quivering. "Light -kun...the cake is..."

Light did not have to wait for him to finish his sentence. He looked down at the prospect of this discussion and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to that slice? Maybe you could ask Watari to bring in another one. Does that...help?" his voice trailed off when he saw how it was bothering the young detective.

"You could really just ask Watari, you know."

"This doesn't make sense, Light -kun."

"Yeah, it's weird." Light could not understand why such a simple matter is already shattering the walls of the deadpan sleuth. He would not react to such panicky situations that would usually give any normal human being a serious stress and yet a missing strawberry on his cake would disturb him?

"Ha, ha! Misa bets Ryuuzaki-san is unhappy now!"

All men looked at the bouncing blonde who entered the lounge.

Light blinked then frowned. "Do you have something to do with this, Misa?"

Misa walked towards them, arms crossed and mocking. "After Light told me what Ryuuzaki-san did to Misa before, I have to punish him."

Then she uncrossed her arms and pointed a derisive finger at the insomniac sleuth. "_Hentai_! You peeped on me one night ago when you weren't supposed to! _Hentai_!"

"What is Misa-Misa talking about?" Matsuda asked from afar.

L met Light 's eyes and said nothing. The silence exchanged between them made the teenager uncomfortable.

"Otou-san!" Misa run towards Light 's father. "Ryuuzaki-san violated me. He was peeping at me one time while I was taking off my clothes."

"Misa-san," Soichiro cleared his throat. "You know we have advised you to dress behind the cabinet door, didn't we?"

"It's not that!" Misa was pushing on. "He was not supposed to be watching me."

"Why don't you elaborate on the circumstance of this alleged perversion you have accused me of, Misa-san?" L challenged her.

Misa stuck her tongue out and explained some more. "You see, Otou-san...I was...well, I was trying to help your son relax...so I..."

"She was trying to perform striptease in front of Light -kun, Yagami-san. Unfortunately I was the one who witnessed it." L answered nonchalantly.

Matsuda gasped. Misa was fuming. "_Hentai_!"

Soichiro let out an impatient sigh. He did not expect this, not in a million years. He had enough facts laid for him, thank you very much. For example, he knew darn well now that his golden boy of a son reads porn mag. Not this too. _Dear god, why?_

He tried to talk to the young girl calmly. "Misa-san, I'm afraid I cannot get involved with this. It is between you and my son. I will not hear anymore of it. Now if you excuse us, we will leave you to discuss this matter."

Soichiro pushed Matsuda to the door and Mogi followed suit. Misa stomped her foot on he floor and turned to Light. "Aren't you going to defend me?"

Light chuckled. "First of all, Misa, I have no idea what possessed you to do something so unpredictable and inappropriate. This is a work place, Misa. It is your fault why Ryuuzaki caught you in an embarrassing position."

Misa could not believe Light was so cruel. She sniffed and tried not to cry.

"Light -kun, her position is hardly embarrassing. She was quite a real tease." L sipped on his coffee. He was aware that he was becoming amused. He was not supposed to be.

Misa glared at him. Then she took something from her pocket and showed it to him. "Oh, Ryuuzaki-san..." she said in a singsong way. L stared at it.

"Misa-san, why do you have my strawberry in your pocket?"

"Why? Does Ryuuzaki-san want it back?"

"It was already in your pocket so why would I want it back?"

"It's not only this, Ryuuzaki-san! I also found your stock of strawberries and I confiscated them all. Misa wants to punish Ryuuzaki-san because he's a pervert!"

"I'm a pervert?" L nibbled on his thumb. "On what evidences—"

"Don't get coy with Misa, Ryuuzaki-san! It is obvious you are perverted. You want Misa to yourself. You're disgusting!" Misa threw the strawberry at him.

L did not know what to make of it. He eyed the strawberry thrown at his face sadly. He didn't bother picking it up. "I see, Misa-san. But why is the strawberry gone?"

"Because Ryuuzaki-san deserves to starve from his beloved strawberries!"

"Careful, Misa." Light was becoming more and more pleased of the outcome. "Ryuuzaki's insatiable appetite for sweets might manifest in more ways."

Misa looked confused then it dawned to her. She gasped and said aloud. "Ewww...Ryuuzaki-san is so dirty. Ryuuzaki-san could touch himself but not Misa's Light! Ryuuzaki-san should seek help because he is sick!"

"You have such imagination, Misa-san. Maybe the one who might be perverted is you since you have been arriving to conclusions that are sequentially about sexual deviancy."

"Ryuuzaki-san is making fun of Misa again!"

"Misa-san, please give back my strawberries. I could not go on without consuming them."

"Misa wants Ryuuzaki-san to suffer."

"Light -kun, this is all your doing. What do you want to say for yourself?"

Light span around his chair for a moment, imitating L in purpose. Then he faced him back with a grin on his face. "In my defence, I was only trying to help you."

L frowned at that, his eyes darkening. Light could see he was almost pissed off.

"To clear the record, Light -kun, I have no romantic and sexual feelings for Misa-san."

"But you were turned on while you watched her, right?"

"I am a man, Light -kun. It is biologically impossible for me not to respond to female seduction. But it is purely hormonal and nothing else, Raito-kun."

"Given the situation and freedom, Ryuuzaki, will you have sex with Misa?"

Misa gasped, unable to believe the conversation between the two men.

"Light -kun, given that you are suggesting the craziest proposal I have ever heard, I am inclined to refuse since you have stated that this is a working place and Misa-san is your girlfriend and she is in love with you."

"Ryuuzaki, I don't mind."

"Light would not give Misa—"

"Shut up, Misa." Light tugged on the chain to pull L closer. L abruptly leaned towards the teenager and they stared into each other.

"Light -kun has made up his mind on this, has he?"

"You bet."

"I still refuse. Misa-san has not given me any permission to perform sexual acts on her."

"And you won't, pervert!" Misa wants to slap the detective right here, right now.

"Oh, come on, Misa." Light challenged. "Don't you at least find Ryuuzaki a bit attractive?"

Misa winced visibly. She took one hard look on the other man's appearance: the perpetually untidy hair, the wide eyes with dark circles under, the scruffy shirt, his lack of footwear... "Ewww...Misa thinks Ryuuzaki-san is ugly!"

"Not even a little bit, Misa?"

"No, Light!"

"Just an insy-bitsy bit, Misa?"

"No!"

"Because I do. I think Ryuuzaki is good-looking."

Misa's eyes widened. "Light is out of his mind."

"To be honest, if I was gay, I would sleep with Ryuuzaki."

Misa almost burst into flames or at least shot herself dead when she heard that. L remained unmoved but he answered, "Be gay as you please, Light -kun."

"Enough!" Misa could not take it anymore. "Misa will not let Raito sleep with Ryuuzaki-san. Misa would sleep with Ryuuzaki-san instead!"

Light wanted to jump in the air but he managed to control himself.

"Misa-san is making a joke, right?" L was unable to conceive how easily swindled she was.

"That depends. Would Light stop making jokes about wanting to sleep with Ryuuzaki-san if Misa lets Ryuuzaki-san get a kiss from her?"

"That depends, Misa." Light stroke his chin. "Would it be a French?"

Misa blushed hard. L blinked.

"I still don't get why my strawberry is gone, Misa-san. Just give them back to me and let us all forget about this."

"No!" Misa was determined. "Ryuuzaki-san will only get his strawberry back once Misa kisses him and Light will stop joking about sleeping with Ryuuzaki-san because it hurts Misa. Is that clear? Misa will French kiss Ryuuzaki-san now!"

"Hold on, we have to get this recorded—"

Light stopped when L turned a dark expression on him. His voice was icy calm. "Yagami-kun, you will be ordered to sit down silently as you could or I will use all my sources to make sure you end on the list of most wanted criminals for death row. Are we clear on that, Yagami-kun? Please refrain from mindless acts."

"Okay, chill, Ryuuzaki." Light smiled. "Well, what are you waiting for, Misa?"

The pretty blonde girl was put in the freakiest situation ever so it took her awhile to answer. "Why would you want Misa to kiss Ryuuzaki-san?"

"Well, you're the one who suggested it."

Misa bit her lower lip. She looked at Light and did not look at L. She never really liked looking at him. He was such an eyesore. "I don't know..."

"If Misa-san is uncomfortable then she must not do it."

"Really?" Light faced Misa, frowning. "You don't want to?"

"Well, I—"

"And here I thought you love me." Light controlled himself from laughing loud.

Misa's eyebrows furrowed. She did not like the way Light said that. She wants to keep him happy. But is she willing to go that far?

Light wondered why he is getting some sort of "high" from this circumstance. Maybe he is bored. Maybe he hated being too close to L all the time even in bed and for crying out loud, the bathroom too! He shivers whenever he recalls that one time when Misa joined them. So what does he get from all of this? Well, he could make fun of L. He always wanted to. L is so inscrutable that he wanted to rip him in pieces sometimes. He watched Misa closely. She is so obvious. But L's reaction remained poker face.

Misa hugged herself, shifting her gaze to the floor. "If it makes Light happy, Misa will do it."

They both turned to look at L. The other young man said, "Will I get my strawberry back?"

Light rolled his eyes. Then he grinned mischievously, "Even better."

"Oh?" L was curious. Innuendo or not, he wanted that damn strawberry back!

"Wait here you two." Light quickly went to his room. He came back minutes after and found Misa sitting on his seat, pretending that the opposite wall interests her while L was drinking coffee as usual, his eyes clouding.

"Look, Ryuuzaki." Light raised the bottle of strawberry jam he bought one day when he got the chance to go out and visit his mother and sister.

L's eyes slightly glistened and look pleased. But Light has different plans.

"Give me your hand, Ryuuzaki."

"On what purpose?"

"Hand, Ryuuzaki." Light said firmly.

L gave him a slight irritated look. He does not enjoy surprises and of course, human touch. He grudgingly held out his hand. Light opened the bottle and poured the thick red syrup. L cocked his head to one side. Now this is interesting.

"Lick Ryuuzaki's palm, Misa."

Both of them looked at Light, eyes wide. Misa immediately stood up and started blabbering about this and that and Ryuuzaki is Hentai. L was trying to figure out what possessed Light. Could it be that he really is Kira, faking amnesia, wanting his accomplice to seduce him so he will stop chasing them? Hmmm...not such a far-fetched theory, it could work.

"Misa, you will do this because you love me." Light wants to burst out laughing now but he kept up the act. "Who knows, you might like it."

"But he is icky!"

"You're not won't be able to know whether that's true or not, won't you?" He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. "Please, Misa. For me?"

L was getting bored. He had his hand raised the whole time, just waiting for the argument to be settled. He also temped to lick his palm instead. The strawberry jam is so thick and he bet it tasted good too.

Misa finally softened. She took L's hand (snatched it roughly more like it) and hesitantly lowered her head towards it. Then she shyly licked the portion where the syrup is. She did it slowly, knowing it will please Light. She nibbled on the Ryuuzaki's skin and somehow she sort of like it. She wanted to see if Ryuuzaki is feeling this.

Light was fortunate enough to witness the change in L's gait and expression. He still remained stone like but it was obvious that he was feeling every little lick. His breath was beginning to go shallow. He did not move but keenly observed Misa licking his palm. Misa was also being helpful as Light expected her to be. It took her about a minute and a half to lick of the strawberry jam completely. L kept his eyes on the mattress of blonde hair and said nothing even when it was all done. He looked at Light blankly.

"How was it, Misa?" Light asked with a grin.

"It was okay." Misa was unable to look at either of them. Her lips were sticky but the taste was really pleasant. She only wished it was Light's palm. She wished this to be over.

"Did you like it, Ryuuzaki?"

"To be honest, Light-kun, I think I did." L's candour was often so puzzling.

"Would you like to kiss Misa?"

"It's not as if you would not ask her for it, Light-kun, so I feel no need to answer your question."

"How about..." Light leaned close to Misa and tilted her head up, cupping her chin. He poured some jam on her lips. Misa held her breath.

L blinked, mildly surprised. What is the motive behind this action? He is dying to know. The only way to acquire that is to engage in this silly foreplay. Even without Light asking, L was already on the move. Light took a step back and watch as L placed a hand on Misa's cheek to lick off the fruity substance from her warm, inviting lips. Misa kept her eyes open and did not protest. She was too consumed with the fact that L's touch and the way his gaze locked on her almost hypnotized her. His proximity was also so close that she felt as if she would cave towards him if she did not have enough power to restrain herself. She was never going to be attracted to him. But he was...sensual? That was the only way to describe the texture of his scrawny fingers pressed against her cheek and the way his shy tongue traced the syrup to wipe it off neatly. When he was done, he immediately looked at her to see what her reaction was. She could not help but smile at him. He somehow blushed at that.

"Isn't this fun?" Light was really amused on how the interaction between such uncommon man and woman was this sensational.

L started biting his lower lip then he smacked his lips together, trying not to look stupid when he did. The jam was very tasty. And the addition of Misa's lips was more than enough to feed him through a famine if ever. That was a foolish thought. L pretended it did not cross his mind. He started to bite on his thumb once more.

"Would you want some more strawberry, Ryuuzaki?" Light was moving the bottle of strawberry jam in a tempting motion. L tried not to follow it with his gaze or he might appear like a gullible pet dog.

"Light, did Misa make you happy?" The blonde girl rocked back and forth, shy to look up. Light acknowledged her with a nod.

"But there is more, that is." Light took a seat and motioned the two of them with his hands after placing down the bottle of jam. "I want you to strip for me now, Misa."

Misa felt her face and throat hot.

"With Ryuuzaki watching."

L scratched his head and sat beside Light, the chain jiggling once more. Light tried to appear encouraging as he coaxed Misa into action. The young girl felt helpless to protest. She couldn't deny the pleasant surge between her thighs when she thought about undressing in front of Light at last. Somehow the other man's presence also provided a new wave of excitement.

Misa stared at Light's handsome face as she slowly lowered down the strap of her red tank top down. She kept their gazes locked as she proceeded on the other strap. Then she massaged her firm breasts, teasing the nipples gently. She saw the instant content reaction on Light's face and he urged her to go on. Misa's hands passed her flat stomach, rubbing it delicately until her fingers finally reached lower. They were teasing the cloth of her skirt, rubbing it against the flesh of her thighs. She kept her eyes on Light the whole time. Light gave a slight nod. Misa took this as a cue to remove her skirt, letting it fall down to her ankles. She was exposed and still timid to cooperate with this act but she confidently tried to make sure Light was being happy. She untied her pig tails and shook her head seductively, her rich blonde locks moving in every sway. Light chuckled and leaned closer.

Then her eyes wandered to the other man. L's expression never changed. His eyes were hollow. His lips were tightly closed over his thumb. When they finally met gaze, she blushed. Then she did not stop staring back at him as she removed her tank top, letting it pass on her torso then down the floor. Her brassier and panties were lavender. They were silk and expensive. She remembered buying it for Light. But she wanted L to see how it enhances her curves and holds them in place. She wanted his eyes casting down her bare skin, memorizing the detail. He was a pervert no doubt but his looks mean so much more. It was secrets she wanted him to unleash. L was completely emotionless but he was observing her. She saw his eyes flicker and move down her breasts, hips and finally her thighs. Then he raised them up again to catch her mischievous smile. It was only when Light asked Misa to come closer that they stopped staring at each other.

Misa sat on Light's lap, facing him. Light chuckled again and said, "Not me, Misa."

Light raised her up and motioned her to L's position. Misa frowned at that but she was feeling horny and L was itsy-bitsy cute now. She clumsily tried to entertain him by rubbing her chest against his raised knees. He caught her off guard when he clutched her by the shoulders and kissed her lips. Her eyes widened and his remained open, observing and curious. Misa rubbed her breasts against his knees, her hands forcing his legs down. L finally obeyed and with a single pull, he managed to lift her up to sit on his lap. Their lips separated momentarily. They gazed at each other, wondering, beckoning. Then Misa angrily tried to kiss him hard on the mouth. L refused, grabbing her wrists firmly that it hurt her. She winced. L softened his expression and let her go. He kneaded on her breasts awkwardly, still trying to figure out what to be done. He enjoyed holding and sinking his fingertips on them though. He imagined them squishy and soft. And they were. He liked it.

He is a pervert, isn't he? L couldn't care less.

"This is enjoyable," Light remarked from the other side. He was now being ignored.

Misa's breath was sinking. She wanted this stupid idiot of a pervert to stop touching her. His touch was driving her mad. She wanted him to stop making her feel so hot and guilty. But she liked his lanky fingers on her breasts. She liked the innocent look in his wide, sleepless eyes. And she wanted now to taste him. She leaned herself against him and kissed his mouth. It was not a graceful kiss. L had no idea how to do it. Misa felt frustrated so she tilted her head to get a better angle. L's tongue was hardly on her mouth. He kept it between her teeth, his lower lip rigid. She also realized it was blocking her tongue into his mouth. She tried to gain access as her hands swept over the pasty white skin of his face. Finally he understood. Misa got to kiss him well, her tongue running wild circles with his inexperienced one. She tasted the corners of his cavities and teased deliberately. L felt his eyelids drooping down, his hands gripping her hips in place.

Light was eagerly watching the whole thing. This is better than the internet.

Misa withdrew and watched L's expression for a while. She was amused by the look of anticipation in his dark gaze. She was enjoying this and she felt somehow disgusting that she does. L returned her excitement. He clutched her by the hips firmly and she reached down to kiss him again.

Light grinned and stood up. He was behind them as he spoke, "Misa, that's enough."

L thought that Misa would ignore that but she hasn't completely forgotten the man she was truly in love with. She stood up to L's disappointment. He tried not to show it though.

"So that was fun," Light added and placed his hands on Misa's shoulders. To show his appreciation, Light kissed her lightly on the lips and then let go. Misa blushed and launched into Light's arms some more. Light rolled his eyes.

L scratched his head and sat back on his normal way. "Light-kun is very generous. I believe gratitude is in order."

Misa looked at L, arms still wrapped around Light. "_Hentai__!"_

Both Light and L looked at the girl incredulously.

"Err, Misa, did you just forget what you did with Ryuuzaki?"

Misa wanted to hide her arousal from that event. She was a good actress anyway so it was not tough to pretend she doesn't care about the pleasure this unlikeable man put her into. She stuck her tongue out. "Misa is only for Light."

Light rolled his eyes and L bit on his thumb rather grimly. Then the detective stood up and walked towards them with his back hunched.

"Misa-san has made me very cheerful. I think she deserves to at least know how good she tasted and that if I may be allowed once again, I would want to keep my hands on her desirable parts. I am being sincere about this, Misa-san."

L said it with a flat, emotionless tone. He also kept his hollow eyes focused on the girl who was now a deep shade of red after his proclaimed sentiment. Light chuckled, unable to hide his fascination with this odd pair. He removed Misa's arm around his neck. He asked Misa to put her clothes back. After she did, he said, "Go on, Misa, at least give Ryuuzaki a hug. The two of you had a good time, you can't deny it."

Misa hesitated. Then she decided that it has to be done. Light wants it. She wants to make Light happy. And this darn Ryuuzaki also tasted good.

Misa abruptly placed her arms around his shoulders then pulled away before he could touch her again. But what a hypocrite she is, she wanted him like hell. It is purely for lustful purposes alone since she couldn't imagine herself and Ryuuzaki as a couple. That was a disgusting thought. She shook it away.

"Thank you once again, Misa-san." L kept up his polite tone. "With the strawberry gone, I shouldn't be bothered anymore because basically, Misa-san is enough strawberry as it is. I am being sincere about this again, Misa-san."

Light burst out laughing. Misa stomped her feet and left, humiliated and angry.

L looked at Light sternly. "Now that it's only you and I, Light-kun, we ought to talk about your frisky behaviour."

"I was bored just like everybody else."

"And you felt the initial need to make fun of Misa-san with me?"

"What can I say?" Light showed him his palms. "I have a dirty mind, it creeps me out sometimes."

"I could surely deduce that dirty mind of yours as you have implied gets you in bed with a string of young maidens, am I right, Light-kun?"

"I'm not getting laid with Misa, trust me. I'm saving her for you."

L glared suddenly. Then it dispersed back to his normal cold expression. "You are playing in waters of great danger, Light-kun."

"We are all guilty of playing with fire." Light smirked.

L turned his back away. "Indeed, Light-kun. I can speculate that you have more under your sleeve."

"Why, yes, Ryuuzaki, thanks for asking."

L turned and smiled crookedly at Light. "Then may I suggest, for entertainment's sake, that we use the strawberry jam again?"

Light laughed. "Who's frisky now, Ryuuzaki?"

**XXX**

**Ah, I love LMisa so badly! And Light's evil conspiracy is also a delightful mix.**


	4. Ironic Stimulation

**A/N: ****There is no foreplay here. ****Just cruel revelation and some sentimental junk.****Some insights on Light sadism and L sappiness (?)**** I hope you still like it. I felt the need to incorporate the concept of distress among the three since they are undergoing change of hearts. The next chapter will be more promising than this one.**

**Fourth Instance:** _Ironic Stimulation_

Misa picked up a pair of stilettos from her closet and could not help but dream of squashing that disgusting detective's face on them. She held them and stared at them viciously. Then she put them on, stretching her legs to see if it looks pretty on her. Of course everything she wears looks that way on her, especially on her. Yet Misa feels empty. Ever since she started living in this creepy estate owned by you-know-who, she felt trapped, imprisoned even. Well, she is a murder suspect. Needless to say she wanted to have some "alone" time with Light just so she could play with him. What did she get in the end? Some foreplay with the most abominable man on the planet.

She put her make up next. As she traced the vibrant pink lip gloss, she thought about the strawberry jam Ryuuzaki licked off her lips and she cringed horribly. Misa closed her eyes and threw the lip gloss at the mirror then she stormed to her living room and picked up a magazine. She tried so desperately to drown all thoughts of him. She scanned the pages hurriedly and knew nothing is going to make it go away.

Then her cell phone rang.

She regarded it in a sweeping, irritated glance. Then she put down the magazine and grabbed it. It was a text message from Light. Her features reflected joy as she read it.

_-I hv been thinking abt u-_

Oh, how sweet of him. Misa bit her lower lip and replied back.

_-Ur always on my mind-_

Misa eagerly held the pink cell phone on her hands, fidgeting. Most people think she didn't know that they assume Light was feigning interest in her just because he wasn't publicly affectionate with her. She never believed he was insincere. In her heart of hearts she knew Light does love her. He is just not emotionally accessible right now, considering that he is being constantly watched by that son of a bitch Ryuuzaki.

Her cell phone rang again.

_-I wnt us to go on a real date next time-_

Misa blushed hard. Her heart was thumping against her chest. Only Light could ever make her feel this way. She replied back.

_-Misa wnts dt-_

On the main room, Light continued sending Misa the text messages, yawning. The working days are starting to bore him and Misa could be a helpful distraction. Well, Misa _with L_ could be a helpful distraction. He glanced at the fair-skinned detective who is happily and ritually munching on a doughnut.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"Something deviant on your mind again, Light-kun?"

"Why would you assume that?"

"You and Misa-chan are exchanging love notes with cell phones, am I correct?" L motioned a gaze at the screen where Misa is on. "It really is that obvious."

Light laughed. "Well, I am starting to be fond of her."

"Isn't that one of the requirements when a girl is intimate with you?" L locked his gaze on the younger man.

"Misa and I are not exclusive," Light pointed out with a small smile.

"Indeed. I forget Ms. Toudai, I apologize." L finished the doughnut and raised the coffee cup for a sip. Light watched him mildly.

"I know this may sound silly, Ryuuzaki, but you could at least put some effort on your social life."

L sipped on his coffee, saying nothing.

"Misa is delightful to have you as a friend."

L placed down the cup back to its saucer. "Is Light-kun pleased to have me as his friend?"

Light run a hand through his hair. "Of course, Ryuuzaki."

"Then must he preserve the spirit of our friendship by not disparaging me any longer?" L's eyes sharpened a little then he went back observing Misa on her room.

"I do not mean to mock," Light tried to keep a straight face. He looked down at the cell phone and read Misa's message.

_-Light must knw __dt__ dr is no day Misa didn't wnt hm 4 herself-_

Light showed no reaction to that. He showed the message to his companion instead. L slightly looked at it and said nothing. The younger man offered. "Would you like to text her?"

L gave him one of his subtle _you're-losing-intelligence-by-trying-to-outsmart-me-_look and did not respond again. He was playing with the keyboard this time. Light tugged on the chain connecting them.

"Come on, can you text?" Light presumed the action must be difficult since he only did use two fingers. L said nothing to entertain him. Light tugged on the chain again, just to annoy him. L sighed and looked back at Light. "Of what purpose is this kind of behavior shows, Light-kun? Perhaps a sense of control?"

"Are you increasing the percentage again, Ryuuzaki? I hate repeating myself. I won't duck your accusations anymore but I won't admit to them. Here is some newsflash for you: you like Misa."

"Misa-chan is an endearment. She is rather smitten with you." L tugged back on chain.

"Misa is a cute girl," Light tried to keep a straight face with that. "She is just not my type. She is clingy and she has this annoying voice."

"It doesn't seem to distress you at some moments so why lead her into a false belief that you share something meaningful? That kind of deceit would also equate to my offer before that you should take her into your confidence—"

"Let's not go there again, Ryuuzaki. I'm just trying to keep her happy, that's all." Light answered. "Believe it or not, I care for Misa even if it doesn't bear romantic significance. You, on the other hand, seemed to like her company better than I do."

"As a rule, I choose not to trivialize things which are logical." L sounded a bit annoyed but he kept his face calm. "The logic is I plan not to do anything with these imaginary feelings you think I have for Misa-chan. Light-kun must understand that he is trivializing issues that must be none of his business."

"I'm your friend, Ryuuzaki."

"And don't you resort on playing that card again, Light-kun. It repulses me."

"Oh, does it?" Light raised an eyebrow. "You were the one who performed romantic acts on Misa."

"I would hardly call it romantic, Light-kun."

"Perverse?"

"You have condemned the very actions you have imposed on us, Light-kun, not I."

"I don't get you sometimes." Light knitted his eyebrows together.

"I never gave you the permission at all, Light-kun."

They stared at each other, both did not back down. Then Light cleared his throat and placed the cell phone in front of L. The detective barely glanced at it. Light proceeded back on his monitor, closing the conversation once and for all.

The cell phone kept ringing. It had been ringing forever and it is starting to get on L's nerves. Light refused to acknowledge it, still waiting for L to finally pick it up himself. L ignored it.

After the tenth ring, L knew he was defeated. He picked up the cell phone and read the text message.

_-Did Misa upset Light?-_

L felt rather sorry for Misa. He glanced at the teenage boy then back at the cell phone. Then he did something he never did before: he held the object with his two hands and began pressing the keys. Light, with his back turned, grinned in victory.

_-__not__ at all, Misa-_

He was not sure what he was doing. Then he almost jumped when the cell phone rang again.

_-does Light still wnt 2 be __wd__ Misa. Misa feels lyk Light avoids her-_

L sighed. He was not sure how to answer. He won't pretend to be Light because that's exactly what his "friend" expects. L decided to play itself.

_-you dnt upset me-_

_-__does__ Misa stl make Light hapi?-_

_-__always__-_

_-Light is sweet-_

L glanced back at Light who pretended like he was interested on the Yotsuba account when he was secretly watching the progress of this supposed "courtship."

_-Do u h8 Ryuuzaki __dt__ much-_

_-Sumtyms Misa does-_

_-__why__-_

_-cuz he gets in Misa's way 2 b __wd__ her Light-_

_-maybe he nvr wntd __dt__ at all-_

_-__hu__ cares wt goes on his perverted mind-_

L stared at the message for a long time before replying back.

-_Ryuuzaki wnts 2 b __ur__ friend, dts all-_

_-__is__ he stl dr wd u-_

_-__wir__ chained-_

_-oopsie! Misa 4gets!-_

_-__dts__ ok-_

_-Misa thinks Light really lyks Ryuuzaki so Misa will be Ryuuzaki's friend...4 Light-_

L placed down the cell phone and bit on his thumb. Light gave him a questioning glance.

"Light-kun, you really should try to at least put an effort in wooing Misa-chan. She is deeply attached to you."

"In that case, you're already losing hope?"

"I don't like the tone of your voice or the context of your statement. My only interest with Misa-chan is her friendship. You could go forming ideas, Light-kun about that but it is getting tiresome and unbecoming of you."

Light glared at him. "I ought to punch you for being so ungrateful."

"And I owe you gratitude? My, Light-kun is vain." L glared back then he softened his expression. He shifted on his seat a little in case he needed to kick Light on the face again. Light did not move. He kept glaring. Then he cleared his throat again.

"You should have seen how you looked at her." Light spoke softly. "And don't deny it was nothing more but casual interest on her friendship. You don't fool me for a second."

"I must ask, Light-kun, if this goal of yours to push Misa-chan to me so we could be a solid couple a product of your latent homosexuality."

Light glared once more. "I'm afraid I am going to ask you to withdraw that question."

"I will not," L smirked a little. "You have said you were attracted to me."

"Or maybe you wish to assume that because you really do want to sleep with me instead."

"Now you are contradicting your theory, Light-kun. Am I interested in Misa-chan or am I interested in you? Which is it?" L challenged.

"You're a distasteful man." Light grabbed his cell phone back.

"And you are a ray of sunshine." L sipped his coffee in a languid manner.

Light knew that he hated L for his guts. After the imprisonment and the torture he had to go through just to prove his innocence, L still find it necessary to handcuffed them together? This is unacceptable. He is going to make him pay for it. The stakes are high now and even though it is against his moral principles, he is going to have to use Misa after all to tame L to submission.

Then L will be grateful for Light since he is candid with his motives. That's what friends do.

The following night before Misa went to bed, Light and L entered her room just to say good night. Light allowed her to peck him on the lips. Then Misa smiled at L and L couldn't help but remember what she said in her text message; that she is only being nice to him because of Light. L didn't return the smile but maybe somehow he thought that he does have to be grateful to Light after all.


	5. Keep your Unicorns

**A/N: I am officially in love**** with LMisa! Now I plan to compare their relationship to Ally Mcbeal and John Cage if you all don't mind. It will still be original. The TV Series is still one of my favorites! Ally and John is neurotic meeting the eccentric. I apply the same principle to Misa and L. Here is another chapter that focuses on revelation of feelings. Hopefully the next installment, chapter six, will take the upper stage to take your breaths away!**

**Fifth Instance:** _Keep your unicorns_

When Misa decided to kill the monotony of her stay in the headquarters, she thought about visiting Light to discuss with him something that has been bugging her mind lately. She found him in his usual position in the main room, facing the monitors and typing things in his keyboard. He never looked at Misa even when she was already inches away from him. The blonde girl didn't feel like screaming his name happily anymore. Today she was in unusually low spirits. The only person who seemed to notice it was Matsuda. He gave Misa a wounded look and offered her some tea. Misa giggled humorlessly and tapped her naïve manager on the head. She looked at Light and wished he would look at her first. Her boyfriend felt her presence but he was not in the mood to recognize it affectionately. Since when was he in the mood for anything that has something to do with her? Misa still doesn't care. She wanted Light to be her comfort for she knew he was the only kind of comfort to her.

"Light?" she murmured almost gently. Light clicked on the mouse and then he finally faced her. There was nothing on his expression.

Misa knelt down in front of him, her skirt hiking up just a little. "Can Misa be honest with you?"

Light looked down at Misa from her angle and smiled a little. "Sure, Misa. Is this going to take a while?"

"Well," Misa bit down her lower lip as she placed her hands on his lap. She shifted her eyes to her own lap. "Misa thinks it's ridiculous but Misa saw what she saw."

"Oh?" Light raised an eyebrow and smiled wider. "Is it that important?"

His voice sounded gentle but Misa can tell he was becoming impatient. She still believed that he will listen to her and will not make fun of her so she took a breath and looked around. As expected, the wide dark orbs of the disgusting detective were on them, watching intently. Misa made a face and turned away, lowering her voice. "Can Misa speak like this so Ryuuzaki-san will not hear?"

Light glared a little at the other man. "Sure, Misa."

He couldn't care less what Misa has to say to him. It's probably meaningless. He still knew that he has to be polite in dealing with her since he was barely in the mood to be angry at small things right now.

"Misa was in her room and she was reading her magazines, you see," Misa started explaining. "Misa thought she was very hungry so she decided to eat the cookies Watari-san left her earlier. While Misa is eating, Misa saw...Misa doesn't know what to call it. Misa thought she is imagining but Misa knew what she saw is real."

Light tried not to frown at her excessive use of second-person narration. "And what did you see?"

Misa buried her forehead on his knees. She looked so small right now. Light was almost feeling sorry for her. "What did you see, Misa?"

Misa looked up at last. "Misa saw a unicorn."

Light took a long pause. He pondered but he knew that nothing that she said made complete sense. He never cared too. Still, it bothered him why she would go this far to catch his attention. Even if she was lying, it wouldn't be as simple as this. Light could give some credit to her small amount of intelligence. If she was telling the truth which is highly unlikely, Light has to play along. He looked at Misa sternly and remembered how childish she is. It reminds him of his sister Sayu although Sayu is adorable and he has an obligation to like his sister. When that thought came over him, he thought of a way to resolve this.

"Misa, sit on my lap."

Misa beamed when she heard that and immediately followed. The other men, including his father, gave the couple identical perplexed looks. Light cleared his throat and explained, "When we were younger, Sayu used to have nightmares and she comes to my room every night, crying. She would sit on my lap and I would sing to her."

L sipped his coffee, trying to absorb the glee of the situation.

Light has no idea why he was being nice but he knew Misa is only going to irritate him if he does not indulge her need to be sweet with him, no matter how improbable that would be on his part. So he softly sang to her so nobody else in the room would really hear. He placed his arms around her, burying his forehead behind her back, almost humming the words. Misa closed her eyes and enjoyed their proximity. This is the first time Light was warm to her and she really liked it. Aizawa exchanged smiles with Mogi while Matsuda looked at the couple dreamily and enviously as well.

When Light finished, Misa quickly faced him, standing up and taking his hands with hers. "Light made Misa very happy."

Light smiled a little. "So you will be okay now, Misa? No more talk of things that aren't really there?"

Misa's smile melted. "But Misa knows what she saw."

"Let's not make big deal out of it, okay?" Light frowned. "I'd really like it if you just go back to your room, okay? I'm very busy right now. We could talk again some other time."

Misa let go of his hands and crossed her arms against his chest. "Misa needs to hear that Light believes her!"

Light is no longer patient so he spoke rather coldly, "Misa, people have things to do. I understand that you're lonely but you could at least try to be considerate of how I feel. I'm not always going to be there for you. If you want us to have a healthy relationship, I only ask for you to act like a real lady and be mature."

Misa felt her ears hot. She felt like crying and breaking down but she kept her mouth shut.

Then Light stood up and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I didn't mean to be hard on you, Misa. I'm sorry I have to tell you that but it's the truth."

Matsuda looked at Soichiro. "Aren't we supposed to do something, chief?"

Soichiro shook his head. "I don't mix with my son's business with his girlfriend. He knows what he is doing, Matsuda. Just stop staring at them and do something productive."

Matsuda nodded sheepishly.

Misa lowered her head, trying not to look defeated. Then she grinned back again. "Okay! Misa will behave now because Light wants her to be a good girlfriend. Misa will be mature now!"

Light was uncertain what is going on in this girl's head but he knows he could always manage her and as long as he could do that, he could keep her around for boredom's sake. "I'd appreciate that, Misa. Now go back to your room."

As hurtful as it was, Misa took that command heartily, smiled and disappeared.

Night came to the headquarters lounge where L and Light were discussing about the developments on the case. They need some solid evidence to prove Higuchi to be Kira, if he ever was. Light was forming conclusive theories gravely while L shifted his eyes once in a while to the monitors. The repetitive action caused Light to frown a little. He said, "She shouldn't be pampered all the time, you know."

L glanced back at the teenager.

"It's not like she is irritating," Light reasoned out. _Oh, but she is. _"I just don't like being the scornful bad guy all the time with her. I already cleared that we weren't really that exclusive. She just has this intolerable way to get into my nerves. Did you know she actually..."

He trailed off, wondering if he could confine what Misa told him. He is not all together cold-hearted. Most of the time he's a perfect gentleman. L stared at him drearily.

"Light-kun, when you talk like this, it makes me wonder," L reached out for a slice in his mango crepe. "What's your point?"

Light tried not to glare. "It's not appropriate to discuss my relationships with you since I do work for you—"

"Work _with _me, Light-kun." L said. "I see you as colleague and not employee."

"I'm certainly flattered."

L licked the fork and placed it back down on the edge of the plate. He pressed his fingers on his knees and said, "You confused me with this sudden complaining, Light-kun. I thought you have all things under control with Misa-san."

"I do," Light retorted back. "But the way you look at her now—"

"I apologize if that causes your jealousy. It's clearly understandable—"

"Let me finish—"

"And do you intend to do—"

"Yes, I do, Ryuuzaki." Light spoke firmly. They stared at each other. Light cleared his throat and said, "If you like Misa, go for it. I don't want your suppression to cause a hostile working environment."

L raised an eyebrow challengingly. "Light-kun, you trivialize."

"Misa is just infatuated with me, it's a crush—"

"As oppose to Ms.Toudai—"

"Let me finish—"

"It hardly is the point of basis—"

"Ryuuzaki—"

They paused.

"Can we now finish sentences before the other one rudely interrupts?" Light remarked. L said nothing. Light began explaining again, "Ryuuzaki, we're friends—"

"Other than that..." L trailed off and smiled crookedly. "I apologize. Please go on."

"Believe it or not, I do like you. You and I share the same interest in sport. We have very intellectual conversations. If it wasn't for these handcuffs, your foot that landed on my face twice and the fact that you think I kill people, we would have had some good moments all along."

L found himself smiling at that. Light smiled back.

"And?" L asked.

"And I could let you be with Misa. She likes you too. She just doesn't know that yet."

"Misa-san is only friendly with me since you are my friend, Light-kun," L shifted on his seat as his major reaction, "Though I have no knowledge on relationship de facto, I can see it is a lose-lose situation in a sixty-five percent calculation."

"And that sixty-five could be divided into forty-three percent of your lack of creativity in pursuing her and twenty-two percent to Misa's lack of instinct."

"Very cute, Light-kun. Must I laugh at such jesting?"

"Grow up, Ryuuzaki."

L finished his mango crepe in three swallows. Light waited patiently. The detective glanced back at him wearily and remarked. "If I may have a significant amount of interest towards Misa-san, I want to leave it as that. You should conclude by now that my profession as the most wanted-assassinated man on earth is not improving the equation. Take for example that Misa-san does become intimate with me, should I risk her to such exposure of my job?"

"If we are talking about numbers and stakes, Ryuuzaki," Light leaned forward. "You have no limits. You bend rules a lot. You are practical to the point of unethical sometimes. You use methods that deliberately make you amoral."

"As oppose to you, acting as if you were not informed that your favorite past time in your former life is to cleanse the world as crusader of sanctity and justice."

"You make me sick."

"I return the sentiment."

Another long pause. Then Light said. "This is why we're friends."

"I couldn't agree more."

The next day Misa came bouncing in the room, giving off kisses to her soon-to-be-(hopefully)-father-in-law, Matsuda, Aizawa and Mogi. She sat on Light's lap, facing L. "Misa wants to do something productive today!"

Silence. Misa added, "Misa wants to work for the team!"

"I don't allow that—" Light responded but L swiftly intervened.

"Will you deceive Higuchi-san? I'm sure you have female tactics we men are at awe." L sipped his coffee and pressed his lips together as he held Misa's gaze.

Misa nodded vigorously. "Misa will do her best for Light!"

"Misa…" Light closed his eyes. Migraine alert.

L looked at the monitor and then back at Misa. "Would Misa-san be kind enough to tell me something?"

"Oh?" Misa's eyes slightly rounded.

To everyone's surprise, L clicked his handcuffs off and placed it on Light's other hand after circling the chain around his chair first. Light gave him the flat eyes. L pressed something again and said, "Even if you click the button, it won't come lose."

"Boo-hoo," Light did another flat eyes.

"Come with me, Misa-san."

Misa felt a little scared but she followed nonetheless. The other men, possessing their best-known surprised looks with jaws drop, just said nothing.

"What does Ryuuzaki-san want to tell me?"

L stopped short on his tracks and faced Misa. Then he clicked on something again inside his pocket. "This would disable all cameras and listening devices."

"Ryuuzaki-san, Misa is—"

"I need to speak with you about yesterday."

"What does Ryuuzaki-san want to know?"

"Misa-san," L has no idea how to start. He scratched his head. Then with calm candor he asked, "You find me ugly, do you not?"

Misa gasped. "Ryuuzaki-san, gomen ne, Misa-san didn't mean to hurt your feelings before—"

"Just answer the question."

Misa answered. "No."

"I have noticed that you've been acting strange lately. What is that about?" L bore his eyes on the young girl's. Misa looked away.

"Can Misa tell Ryuuzaki-san?"

"By all means."

"Misa saw a unicorn! Misa knows it's real! Misa is bothered that Light doesn't believe Misa!" Misa hugged herself, shaking her head.

L frowned. "Unicorn?"

"Misa saw it!" Misa spoke in a high, excited voice. "Misa was shocked at first, you see. But Misa petted him! Misa touched the unicorn and it breathed on Misa's palm. Misa is not going mad!"

L blinked. Then he said. "Unicorn?"

"Ryuuzaki-san also does not understand!" Misa was almost in tears.

"I am not disparaging you, Misa-san." L took a step closer.

"Misa hates Ryuuzaki-san! What does _dis__pa_-something mean?"

"Disparaging."

"Ryuuzaki-san always makes Misa feel stupid! Ryuuzaki-san is horrible!" Before L could defend himself, Misa started running off. L, to his surprise, started running after. He grabbed her just in time before she collapsed. Misa held onto the wall and then she faced back the detective, determine to slap him. L blocked her palm and found himself holding her in his arms instead. The contact was surreal. It bothered him. Misa sobbed violently against his chest. The wetness made him cringe. The sounds of her sobs made him ashamed. "I didn't mean to make Misa-san feel stupid."

"Misa hates Ryuuza—"

L pulled her up to meet her eyes angrily. "I didn't mean it that way, Misa-san."

Then his expression softened. "I do know one thing."

Misa waited. L loosened his grip on her shoulders. "I have read once in a dire occasion that unicorns, in some cultures, symbolize Christ or hope. Seeing an apparition of it could either be determined as madness or divine intervention. Personally, I do not know. All I understand is that Misa-san...Misa-san is sad and Misa-san is my friend and I want to...help her."

He never felt so dumb. He was usually composed but this time, he felt so foolish. Misa finally calmed down and said, "So Ryuuzaki-san does not think Misa is crazy?"

"No."

"Light does. Misa knows Light does!" She embraced him tightly, fully caving herself to him willingly. L winced a little.

"The unicorn is real, Ryuuzaki-san. Misa petted him."

"I believe you." L held her back awkwardly. Misa looked up, tears glowing.

"Ryuuzaki-san does?"

L brushed a strand of blonde hair on her face. He said nothing. Misa noticed the change in his manner and she blushed but she did not let go.

Then she said defiantly. "Ryuuzaki-san is a pervert."

L suddenly remarked. "I'd be anything for you, Misa."

The remark shocked them both. L pulled away, realizing the statement seemed like a death wish. It completely compromised his position. He did not like looking reliant. Misa just blinked, eyes still fixed upon him. L nibbled on his thumb, unable to say anything else.

"Misa should go to her room now."

L gathered back some face. "Go on then, Misa-san."

As Misa passed him by, she stopped abruptly and patted his head. L looked at her curiously. Misa barely smiled but she seemed like she wanted to.

"Ryuuzaki-san has the unicorn's eyes."

L could not help but ask. "How so, Misa-san?"

"They looked like..."Misa tried to search for the word. Then with a small giggle, she said. "Tamed."

She walked away, leaving the young detective in restless beckoning. Twenty seconds passed before he shook his head good-humoredly and to his dismay, he felt his cheeks hot and crimsoned.

**XXX**

**I hope L wasn't too sappy. As you can see, I am doing it slowly just to tease all of you!**

**Reviews are appreciated as usual! Stay tuned for the next chapter tomorrow (yes, since all my chapters for the other stories are left in my roommate's laptop back in the dorm. Bugger.)**


	6. Illiteracy vs Chauvinism

**I have to answer ****Haruhi's**** speculation on L and Naomi pairing. Personally I am a fan of ****LNaomi**** before ****LMisa****. The truth is I never really liked Raye Penbar for the beautiful Naomi. If anybody could remember correctly, Raye stated that, although he knows Naomi is also an excellent FBI agent, she shouldn't go investigating because she is in Japan as his fiancé alone. That kind of machismo made me raise an eyebrow. Chivalry is one thing but thinking less of a woman's skills just because she is romantically involved with you is not such a gentleman thing. And since Raye did not allow Naomi to meddle despite that she has a good lead on her own regarding the bus accident, this eventually lead to Raye's death because the man himself did not recognize his ****fiancé's**** help that might have benefited his findings on the case. So I never really liked Raye for Naomi. In the BB case, L is obviously exalting Naomi for her intelligence and skill. Although in the Death Note series they never really have a face-to-face contact, it's still nice to relish the possibility that they could have been more than just colleagues if only chances were laid down differently. A lot of fans also thought of the same thing. But Naomi Misora, as I have shared, is Irene Adler to L's Sherlock Holmes. I think it is for the better excitement of the plot that they remained "just acquainted."**

**Raye and Naomi is a solid pair in my OC story "Appetite for Enigma" though so I also have to believe in the credibility of their pairing to be able to effectively write their romance.**

**Hope that clears it. Everybody is entitled to their opinion anyway.**

**Sixth Instance: **_Illiteracy __vs.__ Chauvinism_

Misa wanted to fall in love with a prince and she found a knight.

She defined it as the most blissful moment in her life. At least she thought it was. Now she is starting to lead on the dangerous route. Maybe she really didn't fall in love with Light Yagami. When she thinks about it, it's enough to destroy her into tiny bits of pieces. She was one of those girls, you know; the ones who believed in finding someone who you could spend the rest of your life with. What if that precious belief was a lie after all and this all leads to bitter disappointment? She knew deep in her heart that she couldn't let go and it's killing her to know that she finally understands the pain of being hopelessly addicted to someone. Maybe it was a lie. Maybe Misa is doomed to spend her life without anybody. Life already took away her family. What's stopping it from taking away her knight?

That day she wanted to play Fantine's "_I dreamed a dream_" but to reveal to the men in the headquarters that she is as miserable as that young mother-hooker would certainly become the humiliation of the year. So she scanned the magazine she was reading and sang the song over and over in her head instead. Her make-up was very perfect that day too so she couldn't possibly cry and smear mascara on her cheeks. That would be stupid. Misa knew she was stupid for every little thing and men made her feel that way. This time she won't be stupid. She won't cry over a broken heart because books say that is the smart thing to do. Well, hello, Ms. Woman-Enough-To-Hold-The-Tears.

Yet she felt incapable of becoming happy again. Will she ever smile? L allowed her to go out for a photo shoot that Matsuda arranged. She has to smile. It's the one thing she was ever good at; that and driving away any God-given possibility of self-worth.

"Misa is _genki_," she said to herself.

The door opened and Matsuda came in with the same bright smile as yesterday when he asked Misa's favorite color of a kite (whatever possessed him to ask it was beyond anybody else.) "Is Misa-Misa ready for her photo shoot?"

"So soon?" Misa beamed back and stood up. "Matsui seemed very excited."

"Of course! Even though I am no longer the manager!" Matsuda grinned wider again as if the muscles in his cheekbones could still stretch another mile. Misa returned the exuberance. She placed a hand around his arm and they walked together to the main room.

Soichiro reminded Matsuda not to do anything "that could harm the investigation." Aizawa thought it wise to cough and straightforwardly released "stupid" as Soichiro said the statement. Matsuda frowned like a schoolboy and bowed his head several times towards L who was too busy stacking piles of jelly-ace. Light busied himself with some documents.

"Misa will go now!" the blonde beauty called out happily as she walked with Mogi.

Light just nodded his head. L kept his eyes on the monitors as he observed Misa leaving.

Misa sat on the chair steadily as make-up artists refreshed her face with powder. One assistant was applying oil in her legs. When Misa stood up to glance herself at the mirror, she realized that the dark blue evening dress brings out the color of her eyes as Mogi complimented. She stepped into the frame and the photographer made her do at least thirty-six poses within twenty minutes. She went back to her chair, exhausted like hell. Mogi offered her some water.

While she watched as the assistant was now brushing her hair, Misa thought about L. Was she starting to get attracted to him? Isn't it true that she despises everything about him, from his very appearance down to the way he would look at her like nothing else exist in the world? Yes, she does! She hated him! So why did she let him kiss her? Why did she let him massage her breasts? Why did she let him see her strip? Why did she tell him about her unicorns? Why did she allow him to hold her? Of course...it's because Light asked her to. There is nothing more to it. It was all a game to please her knight. L was the jester. Princesses are not meant for jesters and certainly not with ogres. Misa always hated that movie, "Shrek." Misa will never admit that maybe she liked how L treated her. What could she have with him? He has an undisputable reputation as a detective and yet he might as well be non-existent as a person. He is inscrutable. He is too mystical...

...like a unicorn.

Misa gulped. Of course, he was. He was a fantasy. Light was her reality. And goddammit! Next time he wouldn't even get the chance to be close to her again.

She went back to the headquarters later that night to find Light and L in her room. She stifled a gasp and then she narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing in Misa's room?"

"Ryuuzaki said we could date."

"Misa-san should be happy now." L said blankly.

"A date? Here again?"

Light stood up, pulling the other man with him. "Actually, Ryuuzaki said we could go someplace else."

He wished he covered his ears just in time before Misa squealed. She jumped straight into Light's arms. Light raised an eyebrow at L who smiled crookedly.

"Is Misa's dress okay?" She regarded at her dark blue evening dress. Light barely ogled. L just blinked. The two men nodded. Misa gleefully tugged the handcuffs.

Light tried to hide his dismay. "So where do you want to go, Misa?"

"Is it okay to go to the coffee shop?" Misa beamed at him. "Misa wants to get sundae."

"That would be brilliant," L answered instead. "The black coffee in that particular shop has an exceptional taste and the sugar also has a distinguished taste."

"Sugar tastes the same no matter where you go," Misa pouted.

Light no longer paid attention to this thread of conversation. The next thing he knew he was walking grudgingly as Misa pulled the handcuffs. L walked with his back hunched and with his usual sleepy gaze. Light tried not to look at the people who gawked at them as they passed by. He somehow wished he really was Kira. He looked to his side to see that L was peering at him. Light mentally rolled his eyes. Misa opened the door for them and greeted the couple who walked by them. The couple smiled back at her and paused, wondering if they have seen her before. Light was expecting this. He didn't want to be approached by fan boys because of Misa. He certainly did not want coffee or sundae. He took a seat and scratched his wrist. The handcuffs are starting to give him allergies.

"Order your sundae now, Misa." He said.

Misa nodded and called to a waiter. After the waiter left, Misa placed her hands on her cheeks and stared at Light. She tried to memorize every detail of his handsome features. Light pretended that the piece of gum stuck in the table was fascinating him. L, on the other hand, had his whole, undivided attention to his own sundae.

"Does Light want Misa to share her sundae with him?"

Light didn't answer since he believed it was a rhetorical question but everything with Misa is supposed to be guiding a blind mouse through the traffic streets. But Misa was already raising the spoon close to Light's face. It was dangerously close so when Light turned to say "no," Misa easily placed the spoon inside his mouth. The teenage genius had the strongest impulse to punch Misa and punch L (for simply existing with the damn handcuffs on him!)

L noticed the fallen features on the younger boy's face. "Did the sundae displease you, Light-kun?"

Light tried to hard to keep the muscles of his face relaxed. He turned away from Misa and faced L. "Quite exceptional, actually."

"Light-kun doesn't really like sweets, doesn't he?" L almost pouted.

"I prefer it on special occasions."

"Is not Light having Misa as a date a special occasion?" It's Misa's turn to pout.

L was staring at her. That in itself wasn't unusual. He stared. He fixed his wide, unblinking eyes on someone or something and simply stared. She'd gotten used to it. Light wasn't even looking at her anymore. His eyes are slightly closed like he was meditating.

And Light was…in a way. He kept thinking about sharp objects and guns and the best ways to apply them in this suffocating situation. The three of them got awfully quiet. Misa was licking her spoon enthusiastically while L watched and Light was now onto the thought of a sledgehammer slicing through stuff around them. It helped him divert some clinical anger.

"Misa-san, can you pass the sugar?"

Misa absentmindedly did what he asked. She reached out to hand him the container and L slowly reached back. Light was in the middle, his eyes closed tightly now, probably calling to any god to make him vanish. Misa, for some reason, dropped the container and L was unable to rescue it.

Suddenly, the world got stupid.

"_Goddammit_, Misa!"

"Light-kun! The profanity!"

"Oh,_ screw you_, Ryuuzaki!" Light pushed himself off the table and tried to regain his composure. He glanced at Misa. She was a bit teary-eyed and shaky, no doubt surprised of his reaction. Then he said, "That was uncalled for, Misa."

"Misa didn't mean—"

"I mean, my outburst. I apologize for it."

L peered at him suspiciously. Light fixed himself and sat back. He took three deep breaths and said no more. Misa pushed the empty sundae and tried not to cry. L sipped his coffee, observing what will happen next.

"Light was cruel to Misa," the blonde girl was muttering.

"I said I was sorry."

"Misa really wanted to spend a day with Light and Light was cruel to Misa."

Light tried not to roll his eyes. He patted Misa's lap. To his surprise, she shakes it off and stands up, placing her hands on her hips. She stared at him angrily and said nothing for a long moment. She just stood there. Then with a proud head, she turned and walked towards the door and left. Light gritted his teeth.

_What a brat._

"Light-kun," L spoke, "we should see how Misa-san is doing. You were quite rude to her earlier. This was supposed to be a date—"

"One that you have imposed on us."

"You're hardly the best person in the world right now, Light-kun, perhaps—"

"Do you see the red marks on my wrist, Ryuuzaki?" Light raised the said arm. "Where the hell do you think this came from?"

"I assume the handcuffs."

"Pretty genius you are, Ryuuzaki."

"You're not yourself, Light-kun." L eyed him a little vehemently. Then he also stood up. Light crossed his arms on his chest.

"You gonna walk away now like a child too, Ryuuzaki? We're handcuffed, remember?"

Without warning, L swung around and kicked Light at the chest. The blow landed heavily. Light fell back and a lot of people gasped and watched apprehensively. Light didn't have to think what to do next. He accepted the duel quite gracefully and punched L back at the face with the same force. The handcuffs were getting in the way. Every blow from either side pulls one to the other until Light landed on L. He quickly fixed himself up just in time for L to kick him off again. Then it was L's turn to fall on top of Light.

"Get off me!"

"Light! Ryuuzaki-san!" Misa rushed to the scene and wondered if she could get between them. The pair kept exchanging punches and kicks. Misa finally decided that she has to intervene. She pushed Light away before L could kick him and L, seeing that his kick might hurt Misa, tried to prevent it and ended falling right at Misa. They landed on the ground hard but L managed to put his arms around her as well as a hand behind her head.

An awkward silence. Light was wiping the blood on his mouth and left brow. Misa was breathing against L's face close to hers. They stared at each other.

"_Hentai!"_

L pulled himself up and realized that his jaw hurt badly. He checked the blood on his gums and spat on the floor. Light exchanged glares with him. Misa right herself as well and said to the two of them, "You two better make up! You can't make Misa worry all the time about you! You're always trying to kill each other!"

"Light-kun's intention alone not mine."

"Kiss my ass!"

Misa gasped and looked at Light, disbelieving his obnoxious language. Light tried to walk out of the door but L pulled him back from the other side of the handcuffs. Light glared again and pulled back. L kept his grip firm.

"That's enough! Misa had enough!"

She went to Light and slapped him hard across the face. Then she slapped L too. The two men were too stunned to react. Then Misa started crying. She didn't care about the perfect dress on her anymore. Or the make-up smearing. Or the fact that her face was ugly now. She just wanted to let it all out.

"Misa cares for Light and Ryuuzaki-san. It makes her sad when they fight."

She kept crying. Light was annoyed and impatient but said nothing. He deeply needed a cold drink, a bath and some bandages. L stared at Misa sullenly and thought about speed-dialing Watari for a strawberry cake, a ride back to the headquarters...and yeah, bandages could be needed too. First...

He walked towards Misa. "It was a very immature behavior, Misa-san. I apologize."

Misa nodded and waited for Light's turn.

"Stop crying, Misa." Light finally got his feet going. He hated doing this ritual. He hated having to comfort Misa over a silly, incredibly moronic girly stuff but he swallowed his ego at just the end of his throat and did just that.

Misa wiped her tears. "Next time, Misa won't go on a date if Light is cruel and Ryuuzaki-san is always trying to make it his business."

The two men grudgingly nodded.

Watari managed to get there after three minutes. He paid for the damages and drove them back to the headquarters where Misa tended to both men's wounds. Soichiro looked worriedly at his son and slightly scolded L for what he did. When he turned to talk to Aizawa, L whispered wickedly to Light. "So daddy helps in your riots, Light-kun? Very interesting."

"Ryuuzaki-san!"

"At least my old man doesn't become Alfred on me and goes rescuing on a batmobile."

"Light!" Misa was becoming exhausted.

"This isn't over, Ryuuzaki."

"You can kiss my ass back it isn't, Light-kun."

**Haha…sorry for the delay in my updating. I was quite busy. Anyway, this chapter was quite weird but I hope you all managed to enjoy it.**** And L swearing…that is disturbingly hot.**


	7. Caribbean Associations

**I would no longer debate with ****Haruhi**** regarding our views on specified pairings before. As far as I'm concerned I am very indifferent to ****RayNaomi**** and a little inclined to ****LNaomi****. Yes, we don't have equal opinions on subject matter and I find it almost confusing that I have to use this story as a ground for such speculations. This is an ****LMisa**** fic and should be treated just that. Let us close the argument once and for all. I don't doubt Ray and Naomi's love for each other. I don't wish to form the wrong idea when I compared Naomi with ****Irene Adler**** but there are many aspects of Death Note that Ohba unintentionally reminded me of ****Sherlock Holmes**** in L's character; as well as ****Professor Moriarty**** in Light or ****B****. I wish not to raise any flags for debate. Nevertheless, that line of thinking should be left in forum discussions somewhere and certainly not in my stories. I sincerely apologize, Haruhi-san, your correspondence was welcome but maybe you could use an account and we may talk about anything you like about Death Note pairings and such.**

**Seventh Instance: **_Caribbean Associations _

"I would kindly ask you to turn a little to your left, Light-kun."

"I would if I can, Ryuuzaki, but I am stuck in this kind of position."

"Light-kun was too lively in this particular day."

"I wouldn't have been like this if you weren't insisting on fixing the darn thing in the first place!" Light was a tolerant man but L always has a way to push his buttons. They have been arguing because they both got tangled badly by their handcuffs. L wanted to check on a CPU earlier but Light refused to move since he was busy checking the stock market value of the Yotsuba group. L went on his way to still do what he wanted to thus making Light fell off his chair. The teenager scoffed and tried to stand but L failed to notice his fall and even turn to his right to meet Light halfway on the floor, tying the iron clasps on a knot.

Light tried to fix it but ended up twisting himself on the wrong way and the knot became improbable to unfasten. Not to mention they are dangerously close to each other. Light had his arm around L's waist as the older man had his back facing Light. They sat there disgruntled on the floor.

"Light-kun should have just been generous to offer assistance."

"You should have just choked on your shortcake." Light muttered under his breath.

"I believe I wasn't supposed to hear that but since your mouth is close to my ear, I just did, Light-kun."

"I want you to hear it loud and clear, Ryuuzaki."

"I see. Anything else?"

"I want to punch you again."

"In this position? I could hardly kick you in the face as well, Light-kun."

Light rolled his eyes. "We should get Watari."

"Indeed." L slowly tried to adjust himself to push a button. Light complied easily but the feel of their bodies grinding each other scared the hell out of him. Yesterday he forced his so-called girlfriend to make out with this man by proclaiming that if he was gay, he would have slept with L. Light shuddered at the thought.

"I had sent Watari to an errand, Light-kun. I guess we are by ourselves now."

"And how about the others? I'm sure Otou-san is around."

"Do you really want them to see us in this kind of position, Light-kun?"

"Ah, you are embarrassed, Ryuuzaki? The Great L?"

"I have handcuffed myself to you and endured accusations of perversion. Do you think I want to give Misa-san another reason to despise me?"

Light tried to remove his arm around L's waist but he gave up. "You're such an immature child, Ryuuzaki."

"Your endearment flatters me, Light-kun."

L turn to slightly look behind his back, catching Light's gaze a little, probing him. His dark eyes were on the younger man's brown ones. They said nothing for a long moment then Light looked away first. He always loses in this staring game. It makes him feel too bare when they would hold each other's gaze. Light was not good enough in making people feel uncomfortable by staring at them and L was an expert on that area very well. Nothing offends him too.

It has been just yesterday since they were on each other's throats. Somehow today L was back to his languid phase but Light was paranoid and he was determine to figure out when L would strike back.

The doors opened and they both looked up to see Misa bouncing inside and were looking for them. Then she looked down at the floor, saw them and shrieked.

Nobody spoke, not even a greeting of good morning.

Light cleared his throat. "Do you want to help, Misa?"

Misa hurriedly walked towards them. She was also scolding L. "_Hentai_-san, next time keep your hands off Misa's Light, okay?"

"If you fail to observe, Misa-san, Light-kun has his own arm around me and not the other way around."

Misa helped the two of them disentangled. It took them twenty minutes. When the two men finally got to stretch themselves, Misa immediately pulled Light to her and said, "Misa wants a date with Light. There's a premiere movie for _Pirates of the Caribbean_ trilogy in cable tonight."

She then looked at L. "Please, Ryuuzaki-san, Light could spend his night on Misa's room. You could come along too. The movie is one of Misa's favorites!"

L scratched his head with his other hand. "I have heard about that movie. Is it good?"

Misa animatedly nodded her head. "Ryuuzaki-san never watched a movie before with his friends?"

A look of defeat passed on L's features as he shook his head gravely. Light would have "Awww..." but decided against it despite that L looked quite cuddly when he is timid.

Misa clutched on Light's arm tighter. "It would be fun, Ryuuzaki-san. The two of you need a break some time, right? Misa thinks it's not healthy to always work straight hours. Misa is worried of her friends' health."

"Then you shouldn't have confiscated my strawberries, Misa-san."

Misa sighed apologetically. "Ryuuzaki-san is right. Let Misa make up for it by inviting you to a slumber party!"

Light and L both raised an eyebrow. Light said. "Misa, that doesn't make sense."

"It will be the three of us watching POTC all night while sharing comments about the story and the characters. Misa would really like to hear deeper insights from both Light and Ryuuzaki-san so Misa would not appear dumb around other models when she...why are you laughing at Misa?"

Light and L have burst into silent laughter as they listened to Misa especially when she said "deeper insights." Misa turned bright red.

"So?" Misa demanded. "Does Ryuuzaki-san want to have some quality time with his tomadachi-kun and tomadachi-chan?"

Light looked at L inquiringly. L was amazed why Misa has been hot and cold with him in these past few days. It made him curious but nonetheless he was glad Misa was being genuinely nice to him. But he still has to keep himself guarded just in case. He said yes.

Misa went back to her room and prepared for the night's event. She wondered what would be the appropriate attire. It doesn't really matter. Slumber party is for pajamas but all she had were nightgowns. She imagined Light would just remove his jacket and unbutton the collar of his polo shirt. L will look the same of course, no matter the occasion. She remembered the photo she got from the website of Toudai university. It was a picture of L and Light doing the opening remarks together. Misa held the picture and stared, shocked for the first time how they really are different in every manner.

_Light is handsome just like William Turner. Elizabeth loved William for so long._

Misa traced Light's face on the picture. Then she averted her gaze to the man opposite her boyfriend. He had his hands shoved in his trouser pockets. His restless eyes remain downcast. A small smile crept slowly on her lips.

_Ryuuzaki-san is Jack Sparrow. They are both crazy liars. They also don't care much about personal appearance._

Misa placed down the picture among other things she kept on a box that reminds her of Light. She faced the mirror and put on some lip gloss.

_But then again, Elizabeth liked Jack Sparrow too, did she not?_

Misa stared at her reflection.

_And she kissed him before she said goodbye._

She decided to just stop thinking too much about it.

_Besides, Elizabeth and Will still ended up together._

On the main room, L kept his eyes on the screen, observing Misa applying her usual shade of lip gloss and then finally the look of contemplation she had as she stared emptily on the mirror. L wondered what she was thinking and if he was part of what she was thinking.

Shameful it is to admit it, he wished she was thinking of him.

The night quickly came as Light and L went off together to Misa's room. They opened the door and as expected, Misa already laid pillows on the floor as the television was on. She also prepared snacks. She greeted the two warmly with a hug. Light was disappointed that she wasn't wearing any revealing clothing. It would be much fun to watch her make out with L again than watch a stupid pirate movie. Light hid his dismay.

Misa pounced on him and giggled when he flinched to avoid her. L looked at his toes and dragged them against the floor as he followed Light being pulled by Misa to sit on the sofa. The two guys looked around. The table was filled with junk food and candies that they never thought Misa would allow herself to consume (after all, she did complain about getting fat.) Light made a sour face and tried to pry himself away from Misa's loving embrace. L, however, was amusing himself by trying to open the jar of black and orange M&Ms.

The blonde girl had the night thoroughly prepared. She kept her arms wrapped around tightly on Light as L sat on Light's left, munching on anything sweet he could grab on. The movie was already starting.

"Orlando Bloom is so hot, isn't he, Light?" Misa remarked in a bubbly tone. Light grunted simply in response. He didn't really wanna watch a stupid movie.

"So that's Captain Jack Sparrow?" L inquired. "What a very interesting fellow."

Misa squealed and laughed. Light turned to look at her as she spoke. "Funny that Ryuuzaki-san would think so since Misa has always been reminded that Captain Jack acts like Ryuuzaki-san sometimes."

"Oh?" L leaned closer, perching his chin on his knees, eyes wider. Light looked back at the television screen and smiled.

"Yeah, even the eyeliner is a match."

"I wear no cosmetics, Light-kun."

"I wasn't implying anything but he does have finger gestures that are too quirky. And he is definitely odd."

"I'm odd?" L asked the question as if it never occurred to him that his habit of thumb sucking, sitting like a fetus and holding things with two fingers are not odd at all. Misa laughed and Light chuckled low.

"Ryuuzaki-san is more than odd. Ryuuzaki-san is peculiar."

The two men looked at her. Misa blushed. "What? Did I give the wrong term?"

"Peculiar is right, actually." Light replied, blinking. _Is there a thesaurus somewhere in those baggy pajamas of hers?_ "Well, yes, you are right, Misa. Ryuuzaki is indeed 'a clockwork orange,' ne, Ryuuzaki?"

"Clockwork orange?" Misa cocked her head. "Is that an expression that is also same with 'weird' and 'peculiar' and 'odd?"

"As a matter of fact, it is, Misa-san." L chewed on his thumb and returned his attention back to the movie, either satisfied with the answer to his earlier question or uncomfortable being the center of attention.

Light did the same and they all watched in silence for the next thirty minutes.

"Misa-san, we ran out of mango juice."

"On it!"

"The Lizzie girl is very persuasive and witty," L was saying to Light. Misa listened as she went to a corner to get more juice. "Her caliber is exemplary."

"So you dig her?" Light asked offhandedly.

"She is no doubt a pretty lady with brains."

"I quite agree. The actress is attractive too, no?"

"Yes, she is, Light-kun. Does she qualify as your type maybe?"

Before Light could answer, Misa immediately said, "Light's type is only Misa!"

L looked at her as she handed him his juice. "Misa-san does resemble Lizzie."

"Right," Light meant it as sarcasm but Misa took it the other way. She hugged him, almost making him choke on his potato chip.

"And Misa thinks Light is the dashing Will!"

"Indeed, Misa-san!"

Light rolled his eyes. Misa added, "And Ryuuzaki-san is Captain Jackie?"

"Hai!" L sipped his juice contentedly. "The three of us can replace those amateurs on this movie. Don't you think so, Light-kun?"

The corners of Light's mouth twitched. "Just wait till we get to part two. There is a twist of romance there, if I recall correctly."

"So you had watched the trilogy?"

"Well, not that I liked it," Light answered defensively. "Sayu likes it. I accompany her sometimes to the movies and she asked me to watch with her all Pirates of the Caribbean movies. It's a sibling bonding thing, you know."

"Yes, I see." L turned his eyes back to the movie. "Lizzie is a fighter too."

"You like calling her with that nickname, are you close?" Light taunted.

"No." L answered simply. "It's a common name back in England. And 'Lizzie' is the nickname for it. It's shorter and practical."

"Of course." Light grinned. "And do you know any 'Elizabeth' back in—"

"We don't discuss that, Light-kun—"

"Tell Misa! Is she Ryuuzaki-san's girlfriend? Tell Misa!"

"No, Misa-san." L answered in a bored tone. "I do not even have friends, let alone female ones."

"I'm your friend." Light mused and tried not to chuckle out of mischief.

"Why, thank you, Light-kun." L answered in the same bored tone. "Can we direct this conversation into more important channels...perhaps why Barbossa is a fool to fall for such a clever trap?"

"Oh, he has it coming anyway. That's how the story goes."

"Oh no, they'll hang Jackie!"

"Jackie," Light repeated. "Now we give nicknames now? Okay, William could be Willie."

"Lizzie, Jackie, Willie." L enumerated. "How genius we are."

"Uh-huh," Light watched as Will rescues Jack after proclaiming love for Elizabeth. Misa was obviously enjoying it, cheering loudly. Guess she was one of those kinds of watchers. Thank god, they're not in a cinema or Light will bury himself six feet under in humiliation.

After the credits rolled and the commercials are playing, Misa turned to Light and said, in her perfect imitation of Elizabeth's English accent, "He's not a blacksmith. He's a pirate."

She kissed him. Light did not refuse it. If he got Misa in the mood, she might be ready to obey him. So he kissed back and tried to enjoy it.

"Bravo," L was clapping his hands soundlessly after the kiss was finished.

"You'll get your turn." Light ate a potato chip.

"Oh?"

"Right, Misa?"

Misa frowned. "Misa doesn't—"

"The part two," Light said simply. "Haven't you watched it?"

Misa's sudden change of expression confirmed that she did. "Misa remembers now."

"And so we proceed." Light hid his smirk.

_Dead Man's chest_ started out with the same elements of adventure and romance. L was impressed with the choice of costume, effects and fight scenes. It somehow did remind him of England, he said. It was also the first time the two of them heard him laugh. His eyes also fairly glittered when he did. Light laughed along and looked at Misa to see that she was staring at L with that look of adoration in her face. It's as if she was seeing how charming the anti-social detective can be. Light knew he could just push them together and...

They have been watching for almost three hours now. The second movie was at its end and the scene that Light was waiting for emerged. There in the ship was Elizabeth reluctant to say goodbye to Jack Sparrow. Immediately she captured his mouth into a forbidden kiss that Will saw. Then she runs off while Jack Sparrow draws his sword and gets swallowed by the big monster thing.

When the credits started rolling again, L said. "So will Jackie return? Barbossa was alive and now on their side, how interesting."

"Misa," Light simply said.

The blonde girl immediately understood. She stood up and walked towards L. she leaned down and kissed him quickly. L did not part his lips and his eyes were open. He pushed her slightly and turned his head away. "No, Misa-san. This is inappropriate."

Misa looked hurt. She looked at him and then Light.

"Light-kun," L's voice was cold and firm. "I want to spend time with you and Misa-san without having to worry your motives underneath. Please refrain from making Misa-san do things that will lessen the tranquility of our places. You do not want to fight me again, Light-kun."

Light glared. "Oh, I so wanna kick your ass again in the curb."

"You will not, I assure you."

"You think just cause you know Capoeira that I can easily lose to you?"

"Can we just watch the last movie in peace? Misa will behave now!" she sat back to Light's side and they watched the next movie in silence again.

While they were in the part when everybody was dueling with swords, Light stood up and said. "You are the biggest ass I have ever met, Ryuuzaki."

L barely looked at him. Light walked to face him. "You're blocking my view, Light-kun. This fight scene is promising."

"Then fight me and let's be done with it." Light clenched his fist, preparing to swing. "I am not going to wait anymore."

"Light! Ryuuzaki-san! Please!"

L sighed and finally looked up at the younger boy. "You're a tricky piece of work, Yagami-kun."

He lazily placed his feet down but instead of reaching the ground, he swung his hips for power and kicked one foot in midair, straight at Light's direction. Light saw it coming and blocked it with his arms covering his face. Then he punched L. L ducked it and kicked him square on the gut. Light fell over but managed to clutch L and they fell down together. The handcuffs are tangled again. They stopped exchanging blows when it happened. This time they hardly moved from their current position. L was on top of Light quite uncomfortably.

"We have to get rid of these handcuffs if we will fight next time."

"There would be no next time, Light-kun."

"No one has won yet!"

"I'd like to watch the movie now, please."

"Whatever, dork!"

Misa had her hands on her hips, scolding them. "Now look what the two of you have gotten yourself into!"

"Misa, can you—"

"No!" Misa sat back and grabbed a doughnut, biting on it furiously. "Misa will let the two of you suffer because you misbehaved."

Light growled in frustration. He might as well play on her weak side. With his free hand, he took a fistful of hair from L's and pulled him close, their nose touching. Misa gasped. L raised an eyebrow as Light stuck out his tongue and licked L's upper lip slightly. Misa thundered and quickly tried to get them loose from the tangled chain. Light was pleased with himself. Now he all he has to do is to drag the imbecile Ryuuzaki to the bathroom so he could wash off his taste.

"_Hentai_!" Misa scolded L instead. "Keep yourself away from Misa's Light!"

L snapped back rudely, "Have you gone blind, Amane-san? Have you not witnessed that he was the one who attempted to engage me in foreplay and without my consent too? He practically molested me and wipe that smirk off your face, Light-kun."

Light didn't even care to hide the said annoying smirk. "Ah, Ryuuzaki. When will you see that I do the things I do for the spirit of our friendship?"

L's eyes darkened, the pupils disappearing. "I am no longer tolerant of this behavior, Light-kun."

From out of the corner, he grabbed Misa's wrist. Before she could jerk it off, L had snapped the other end of his handcuffs to her and secured it tightly. Light's jaw dropped. _What on—_

"You left me no choice, Light-kun."

Misa never looked happier. She was shackled to Light! This is the best part of being a prisoner ever, ever, ever, ever! "Does this mean Misa has Light all to herself?"

_Gods, no!__ Damn. Shit. Fuck!_

"Yes, Misa-san but I would still constantly monitor your activities and follow you around."

Light could not say anything. The speech and language part of his brain is still trying to register the appropriate words. L didn't wait for it. He went back to his sofa and tried to catch up with the movie. Misa wrapped her arms around Light, the handcuffs jiggling.

"We could take a bath together, Light!"

_Just freaking dandy!__ Can I be Kira now and kill these two fatheads?_

"You're welcome, Light-kun."

Light's eyes sharpened like daggers and he was finally able to speak. "You've brought hell to yourself now, Ryuuzaki."

"Is Light not okay with Misa—"

"Shut up, I don't want to deal with the two of you at the same time."

"Light—"

"Misa, don't push me!" Light stood up, dragging Misa along. He walked towards L who was humming something inaudible.

"This is war, Ryuuzaki."

L smiled childishly, looking at his toes. "Hasn't it always been, Light-kun?"

**I know ****I fail to be productive with L and Misa sex scenes. You will have them by the next chapter. That is a promise. Maybe I should change the rating by then. Hmmm...**


	8. The Awkward Dance

**A/N: This is quite short and I apologize for the long delay.**

XXX

**Eighth Instance:**_ The Awkward Dance_

Ever since he met Misa, Light wanted to hit a girl.

He knew that he made up his mind on that realization. When Misa leaped on him one night he knew he wanted to punch her face so hard she would get ugly. It was horrible to have nasty thoughts about acting on violence towards the weaker sex, it truly was, but Light makes an exception with Misa. She can be tolerable but when she stopped being so, his knuckles would go into berserk tremors. He tried not to make it too obvious especially L, that son of a bitch, seemed to keep tabs on him ever since he handcuffed him and the annoying girl together. This crosses the imaginary line of decorum for L. Light doesn't know how long he could contain himself from going nuts and act out of rage.

But today won't be that day. He needed to beat L in his game one last time.

But when the three of them watched "_Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street_," things got completely thrown at the mercy of any god who Light would pay total homage if said god will put him out of his misery.

"Isn't it symbolic in a way, Light-kun?" L asked calmly as Misa kept singing "_By the sea" _while kissing Light's cheeks.

"What is, Ryuuzaki?"

"That Misa-san fancies herself to be Mrs. Lovett, the accomplice to Sweeney Todd's murder rampages."

_God, he's doing this again_, "What is so symbolic about that?"

"It defines your relationship quite well, actually, can't you see?"

"I fail to think the way your paranoia-driven mind does. Stop talking rubbish, Ryuuzaki, and let's plan on how to sabotage the Yotsuba group."

"_Married nice and proper! We'll grow old together! By the seaside-ah-ah! By the beautiful sea!"_

_Dear god..._

L snorted a chuckle and devoured his doughnut contentedly. "Very good, Misa-san. You hit the right high notes with precision."

"Why do you encourage her so?" Light tried to stay still as Misa embraced him tighter, too oblivious to pay attention to his disgust.

"Must you be so stoical, Light-kun? Affections should be returned by the receiver. And in this case, you should kiss Misa-san as feverously as she had and maybe dance her around while talking about your ploys of murder with a song." He chuckled at his own joke. He smiled at the doughnut on his hand. "I adore that musical. The movie adaptation is also equally appetizing."

Light closed his eyes and massaged his temples. This is actually killing him. A part of him is dying. He decided to view his options. One, strangulate Misa with the handcuffs then choke L with his doughnut. No, that's not an advisable option. Two, take the keyboard in front of him and bang it on his head so hard his skull might just split into two, hence, making it easier to deal with solitude in death than in Misa's loving arms. Nope, he's got a lot to live for, that's for sure. Or three, pretend Misa's a carrot and bite her head off. Hmmm...so far option one and three looks promising.

"Something in your mind, Light-kun? Perhaps an epiphany?" Another lame musical reference to said Sweeney material. L is enjoying this.

"Misa loves Johnny Depp! He has an awesome voice! Misa thinks Light can sing too. Sing for Misa, Light!"

"Sing, Light-kun!" L joined along.

_Handcuffs. Strangle Misa. Doughnut. Choke L._

"I'd rather not."

"Misa wants Light to sing!"

"Sing, Light-kun!"

"Would the two of you just—shut—UP!"

Misa gulped but still held onto Light. L pouted. It would have been cute if only Light wasn't busy trying not to grab the keyboard to bang his head with it.

"What's the matter? Misa is worried."

"Get your arms off me and sit properly, there is work to be done!" Light pushed her off and started viewing his documents. He was breathing normally again. Misa kept still, sighing every five minutes. L finished his third box of a dozen doughnuts. It's now three hours that passed.

Then something weird happened.

It started with a hum. Then the distinguishable hum was now accompanied with words. Light slowly turned his head around, in a frightening motion to resist the curiosity to look directly. L was singing…

Fuck. He really is.

"_T'was Pirelli's miracle elixir, that's what did the trick, sir, true, sir, true! Was it quick, sir? Did it in a tick, sir! Just like an elixir ought—to—do!"_

"Ryuuzaki?"

L paused and looked at his friend. "Hmmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Eating, debugging a program and singing Tobias' part."

"Why are you doing that?"

"Because I'm hungry, the firewall isn't working and Tobias is adorable."

"Please stop it."

"All of what I'm doing?"

"Just the singing," Light fixed his attention back to his own screen. Misa sighed again.

"_There you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies—"_

"DAMMIT, RYUUZAKIII!"

L's eyes widen a centimeter, his whole body frozen, looking at Light with an expression of shock. Misa was also imitating the same pose.

Light calmed down. He breathed in and out then he apologized for his outburst. He started typing and the whole place kept silent again. Then Misa courageously sat on his lap. Light literally saw red.

"Misa will help Light relax. Misa will make Light happy." She hummed and started swinging their bodies with it. Light stared straight ahead.

_Carrot. Misa. Bite head off._

"_I will have vengeance...I will have salvation..._" Light started.

"Light-kun is singing."

"Yay, Light!" Misa hugged him.

The other members, Aizawa, Soichiro, Mogi and Matsuda, were simply watching as an audience, amused, frightened and perplexed all in one scene.


End file.
